Post by Deleted on Jan 19, 2018 0:24:08 GMT
Just think about it, most here drive a car every single day. We hop in that car knowing that this thing is dangerous we can kill or be killed in it. Still we get in and turn it on knowing that we can't control what anyone else on the road does. But we want to get from point A to point B so what do we do, we drive carefully, we are alert, obey the traffic rules but no matter how many complete stops we make, those perfect stops won't ensure that someone else isn't going to run that red light and side swipe us.
This is the risk we take in love, that the other person my not feel the way we feel. That the other person may not be willing to work in the same way we are willing to work. That it may not last. Falling in love is taking a risk like driving a car.
A bad breakup is like getting into a serious car accident. Sometimes you just don't see it coming. Sometimes we get pretty banged up and it takes a while to heal and there is nothing we can do to rush that healing. But what good does it do to ruminate over why that guy ran that red light. Or reason, what if I had just went through the yellow light or stopped further back. Will that make your broken leg heal faster or heal better? No, it won't.
But what if you find out that the one who crashed into you was under the influence or distracted? We can all agree that people who have a habit of driving in an unsafe manner need to shape up, but can your worries make them become better drivers? No, they can't. That person has to see the importance of driving safe, it may take them getting banged up by someone else to see that, hey, I have to shape up!
When we are on the road and we are driving we ALL need to focus. If we are alert to protect ourselves then we will in turn be safe for all the others on the road.
Being anxious is just as much about trying to be in control as being avoidant. Acceptance is letting go of the idea that you can control a situation with your thoughts and feelings and actions and create the outcome that we desire.
Acceptance is security. It doesn't mean that you've given up total control. No, it means that you are in control of the one thing you can actually be in control of, yourself. It's when people try to control everything else that we feel insecure.
For example, when do you feel most secure, when you are behind the wheel of a car or when you are backseat driving?
Do you feel at all secure when you are relying on everyone else to be a safe driver so you can text or watch you tube videos?
We can't allow someone else to drive our proverbial car. We can't be a back seat driver in our own lives, allowing someone else's actions to drive us while we say, "Umm turn left here, no LEFT, FOR THE LOVE OF ZEUS I SAID LEFT!!!" (anxious)
And we can't be a distracted driver. Hoping that others are paying attention and know to get out of our way because we're coming through and we're not stopping!! (avoidant).
Work to secure - Drive your own car, both hands on the wheel, eyes on the road.
This is the risk we take in love, that the other person my not feel the way we feel. That the other person may not be willing to work in the same way we are willing to work. That it may not last. Falling in love is taking a risk like driving a car.
A bad breakup is like getting into a serious car accident. Sometimes you just don't see it coming. Sometimes we get pretty banged up and it takes a while to heal and there is nothing we can do to rush that healing. But what good does it do to ruminate over why that guy ran that red light. Or reason, what if I had just went through the yellow light or stopped further back. Will that make your broken leg heal faster or heal better? No, it won't.
But what if you find out that the one who crashed into you was under the influence or distracted? We can all agree that people who have a habit of driving in an unsafe manner need to shape up, but can your worries make them become better drivers? No, they can't. That person has to see the importance of driving safe, it may take them getting banged up by someone else to see that, hey, I have to shape up!
When we are on the road and we are driving we ALL need to focus. If we are alert to protect ourselves then we will in turn be safe for all the others on the road.
Being anxious is just as much about trying to be in control as being avoidant. Acceptance is letting go of the idea that you can control a situation with your thoughts and feelings and actions and create the outcome that we desire.
Acceptance is security. It doesn't mean that you've given up total control. No, it means that you are in control of the one thing you can actually be in control of, yourself. It's when people try to control everything else that we feel insecure.
For example, when do you feel most secure, when you are behind the wheel of a car or when you are backseat driving?
Do you feel at all secure when you are relying on everyone else to be a safe driver so you can text or watch you tube videos?
We can't allow someone else to drive our proverbial car. We can't be a back seat driver in our own lives, allowing someone else's actions to drive us while we say, "Umm turn left here, no LEFT, FOR THE LOVE OF ZEUS I SAID LEFT!!!" (anxious)
And we can't be a distracted driver. Hoping that others are paying attention and know to get out of our way because we're coming through and we're not stopping!! (avoidant).
Work to secure - Drive your own car, both hands on the wheel, eyes on the road.