Lola
Junior Member
Posts: 71 
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Post by Lola on Jan 26, 2018 10:14:51 GMT
I’ve come to see that many including myself have realised that even when their partners & ex’s (DAs, FAs, Narcissists or plainly rude dicks) are no good to them they still yearn for them. It is a pity, because we accept the love we think we deserve. We certainly do not deserve this. I have also noticed that once in the “danger zone” whatever it may be for you typically includes self destructive behaviour. In my case, this self destructive behaviour is substance abuse, hedonism and self harm. It is replacing one addiction for another. Therefore, I’ve come to the conclusion that this has to do with you- your addiction.
How do we overcome addiction without rehab? How do we overcome self destruction?
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Post by leavethelighton on Feb 12, 2018 0:55:33 GMT
Are there ways you are triggering your addiction (Ex: reading old letters or emails, even fantasizing)? If so, trying to break those patterns of behavior can help. Also other things that keep one balanced-- enough sleep, exercise, other acts of self care-- that will make it easier to see things more clearly and to have less intensity. If you are engaging in self harm, are you willing to see a therapist or at least try a relevant medication?
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Post by leavethelighton on Feb 12, 2018 1:08:04 GMT
Also I don't think it's that the love that exists there is the love we think we deserve... more the opposite: I think it is the possibility of the love that would or could be if only this person were less avoidant that is behind the longing. We don't really long for them as they are, rather we long for the non-existent but hoped-for version of them that would respond with the same feelings we have in return....
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2018 3:12:25 GMT
I’ve come to see that many including myself have realised that even when their partners & ex’s (DAs, FAs, Narcissists or plainly rude dicks) are no good to them they still yearn for them. It is a pity, because we accept the love we think we deserve. We certainly do not deserve this. I have also noticed that once in the “danger zone” whatever it may be for you typically includes self destructive behaviour. In my case, this self destructive behaviour is substance abuse, hedonism and self harm. It is replacing one addiction for another. Therefore, I’ve come to the conclusion that this has to do with you- your addiction. How do we overcome addiction without rehab? How do we overcome self destruction? Best pieces I've read recently: |
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