Overcome with sadness

Hi Ruki

My situation is different because I am still with my guy. However, I have experienced all the anxious feelings that you're having when he pulled away from me. Like, seriously, I was a basket case for a good 2 months. Really, I about lost my marbles,not even kidding.

What helped me get past it was to stop thinking about myself and start focusing on him. Now, I truly love him so I wanted to figure out how I could best support him. I studied DA attachment styles and I studied him. Thought about things he had said to me in the past. I connected dots. Started looking at things more through his eyes than mine, so to speak.

In other words, if he didn't text me back, normally, I would start thinking he was ignoring me, didn't want to talk to me, etc. I started to stop myself and remind myself that he HATES his phone. When he is with me, he NEVER has his phone, so why would it be different when he's with his kids? I started cutting him some slack. Honestly, now I don't even know why it upset me before. If I text him now and there's no text back, no biggie...

It took practice but it worked, my anxiety is all but gone.

You already know these things aren't about you. You just have to remind yourself. Don't just tell yourself it's not you. Give yourself and explanation as to why it's not you, specific reasons and then have compassion for him. You don't even have to guess because he's told you how he feels. My guy doesn't even know what attachment theory is.

I hope I'm making sense. If not, let me know and I'll try again, LOL

Also, I'm not telling you to do this to get him back. I'm telling you to do this for you. In being compassionate to him, you are being compassionate to yourself. Isn't that so cool??