Post by flic on Apr 20, 2018 11:53:04 GMT
Thanks to @tigrio for suggesting people watch the Alan Robarge videos on YouTube.
Personally, I think every AP needs to watch this one: www.youtube.com/watch?v=5a14hrQjCIQ
The title is Cycle of Insecurely Attached Relationships (Codependency & Love Addiction) - and he does not hold back in holding Love Addicts accountable for their actions.
It makes for tough watching as an AP, but he basically spends 30 mins explaining why painting your partner/ex as a villain is NOT a way to heal your attachment wounds and he very very bluntly explains what someone is doing when they act out and see themselves as the 'victim'. He prefaces it with a trigger warning.
I can't say it didn't hurt me to watch, but I think it is SO important to be able to take full responsibility for our actions, and our actions alone.
EDIT: He does suggest towards the end there is no hope to repair an insecurely attached relationship, which I don't necessarily agree with, but I quite like his style, it's very different to a lot of attachment theory stuff.
Personally, I think every AP needs to watch this one: www.youtube.com/watch?v=5a14hrQjCIQ
The title is Cycle of Insecurely Attached Relationships (Codependency & Love Addiction) - and he does not hold back in holding Love Addicts accountable for their actions.
It makes for tough watching as an AP, but he basically spends 30 mins explaining why painting your partner/ex as a villain is NOT a way to heal your attachment wounds and he very very bluntly explains what someone is doing when they act out and see themselves as the 'victim'. He prefaces it with a trigger warning.
I can't say it didn't hurt me to watch, but I think it is SO important to be able to take full responsibility for our actions, and our actions alone.
EDIT: He does suggest towards the end there is no hope to repair an insecurely attached relationship, which I don't necessarily agree with, but I quite like his style, it's very different to a lot of attachment theory stuff.
