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Post by tnr9 on Apr 28, 2018 0:26:11 GMT
Earlier today I got a text from B asking if I wanted to have dinner or do something. I replied that he was welcome to come to my place and hang out. When he arrived, we talked for a bit and then we ended up ordering a pizza and renting a movie. It was fun and chill.  I feel really good because I was able to stay present and keep to boundaries. |
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Post by DearLover on Apr 29, 2018 18:18:32 GMT
It sounds good tnr9. Keep us posted.
Today I felt an insane urge to contact DA ex. I don't want to get back together, I want to meet somebody new. But I feel I can't totally move on...
I just want to make sure that he understands that I didn't mean to hurt him (If I did, because he never expresses anything)
I feel guilty still.
It would also be nice to have some sort of explanation and apology from him. I have this obsession that he owes me a few words. Disappearing like a ghost is so immature and coward. I am still mad that he has done it. I now he can be better than that. The only explanation is that I must have hurt him a lot. He has such a fragile ego and the biggest fear of rejection hiding under his self-important persona.
And because I don't want to feel anger towards him I blame myself from not handling the whole situation better even though he didn't make it any easier for me and could have handled it better himself.
We were both so sick, bless us.
Well, I am managing to keep quiet for now, I feel I have to wait a bit longer. once I can feel only positive feelings about him and about myself regarding the whole situation, I might contact him again - without even a shadow of expectation of getting a reply or an actual meeting - and try to clarify and lovingly say good bye - or God Knows, keep a light friendship. I just need some sort of closure for goodness sake.
I am nearly back at the dating game again. Created a new profile and all that jazz. My life changed a lot since the break up. new home, etc... and I am finally feeling like my real self again since 2014 when a series of challenging events happened in my life.
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Post by DearLover on Apr 30, 2018 19:33:08 GMT
I am back on track now. Thinking straight again.
Guess the problems when I don't keep busy during weekends. Sundays seems to be the worse. Just need to keep investing in myself and my happiness.
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I feel really good because I was able to stay present and keep to boundaries. 
