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Post by leavethelighton on May 5, 2018 23:53:07 GMT
It sounds like you're both being too defensive and one of you needs to take the high road.
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Post by tnr9 on May 6, 2018 1:02:13 GMT
In a class I just finished we were learning to ask ourselves in our interactions with others... whether the relationship was bigger than the problem ( which leads to our relational circuits being on) or whether the problem was bigger than the relationship (which leads to our relational circuits being off). It sounds like you are both making the problem bigger than the relationship. Does the "stuff" really matter or is all of this protest behaviors?
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Post by tnr9 on May 6, 2018 2:52:02 GMT
There is no relationship. She is my ex. She broke up with me 5 months ago. We have talked here and there. I've asked to use the truck and mower that I purchased and I never got to use it. She knew I needed to use it. I offered for her to freely use it whenever but I can't depend on her to follow through so please let's keep it at my house. So how is it that someone who didn't pay a dime, broke up with me, knows that I needed to use them okay with just disregarding me? I took the high road in telling her she can come get them whenever she needed them. I was looking out for her but it obviously wasn't reciprocated. Replace relationship with person and you get my drift. The way I read your first post, before you offered to allow her use of the two items...you said...."you broke up with me" (you can go back to the original post for your words) which I don't really see as important to getting your items back. The conversation could have started with "I know you have had these items for a while, but since I paid for them, I would really like to have them returned to me." I don't think extending any olive branch was even necessary because it doesn't sound like an amicable breakup..so what is the point of having anything "shared". That to me comes across as a weird control thing. |
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