Do we actually need work or just the “right one”?

nottheonion
Junior Member

Posts: 87

Do we actually need work or just the “right one”? May 6, 2018 14:58:54 GMT via mobile

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Post by nottheonion on May 6, 2018 14:58:54 GMT

After dating a possibly FA, now being FWB with him and being an anxious-avoidant myself, I realised how much happier I am having a regular FWB rather than a relationship. I thought I was ready for a relationship. Tried it. Didn’t work. I just couldn’t deal with the anxiety the stress and the constant expectations I set for both of us. I’m fantasising the ex and the one real hard for the past 3 years, wondering why the hell I feel so upset about not having “the one” if I’m so happy being single.

Will I ever change if I don’t deliberately work on myself? Or will I be stuck in a forever being only ok with no commitment state? Or do I just need to meet “the right guy” (this is obvs one of our problems here)

Deleted
Deleted Member

Posts: 0

Do we actually need work or just the “right one”? May 8, 2018 5:03:06 GMT

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Post by Deleted on May 8, 2018 5:03:06 GMT

There's no "the right one". You'll want to run from him too.
It's an attachment that we are scared and tired of, not a person. There are more and less compatible people but even if you could be perfect together, you'll still have to work really, really hard.

Last Edit: May 8, 2018 5:04:09 GMT by Deleted

mrob Honored Contributor Posts: 1,255	Do we actually need work or just the “right one”? May 8, 2018 6:46:53 GMT via mobile Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by mrob on May 8, 2018 6:46:53 GMT I’d second that. The only way I was married for 7 years was to shove this stuff down (which I wouldn’t recommend). It’s hard, and I have no idea if it’s possible now.

Post by nottheonion on May 6, 2018 14:58:54 GMT

Post by Deleted on May 8, 2018 5:03:06 GMT

Post by mrob on May 8, 2018 6:46:53 GMT