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Post by Deleted on May 20, 2018 13:58:22 GMT
Hi guys
In relation to my previous thread 'Dating An Unavailable Guy. Here is my update.
So last week. I asked the unavailable guy to move in with me. I already knew the answer before sending the question via text.
I thought asking via text would be less painful if I asked him in person. I know if it had been in person. The rejection would have been painful.
So I texted him and switched off my phone. He went berserk. Adamant he doesn't want to move in. Upset that I had asked him this. I guess it's pressure he doesn't want.
Five days later, we saw each other in work as we do now casually see each other from time to time.
He informed he will make more effort to iniate contact and plans. Seems me asking him to move in scared and prompted him to make a change.
Strangely after work. I finally woke up. I finally realised the true extent of this relationship.
Two weeks ago. I told him how I felt about wanting him to make more effort. Despite promises that he will. He never did.
But the moment I start asking serious questions. He gets scared and is willing to step up.
I texted him after and told him im moving on and walking away for good. He never replied back.
I never wanted him to move in. I thought I'd test to see if he would make more effort or fight for us.
It's just a shame it took one year on for me to finally realise my self worth and realise I've wasted too much time on the wrong person.
I guess love really is blind.
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Post by mrob on May 21, 2018 13:32:35 GMT
What an awful, manipulative way of doing it. I suppose you feel like you have some power back. Good luck to you as you move on.
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Post by Deleted on May 21, 2018 17:37:50 GMT
What an awful, manipulative way of doing it. I suppose you feel like you have some power back. Good luck to you as you move on. You mean from me?
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Post by scheme00 on May 21, 2018 18:11:38 GMT
I have to say that I believe the way you have handled this was completely wrong. I understand you are hurt that he does not want the same thing as you which is definitely understandable. It hurts when the other person does not reciprocate. But the way you try to test and manipulate are wrong. Living your truth will make you feel much better than playing games.
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Post by Deleted on May 21, 2018 18:47:39 GMT
Your right. But he doesn't know I did it to test him nor would I tell him that either.
I guess when you've been hurt so long and so much. The pain can change you. It definitely changed me.
It's certainly not about regaining control.
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Post by leavethelighton on May 25, 2018 1:45:07 GMT
Interesting. For some reason it surprises me that your asking him if he wanted to move in made him say he'd try harder rather than him distancing himself.
Were you specific about what it would look like to you if someone "tried harder"?
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Post by goldilocks on May 25, 2018 6:19:36 GMT
What an awful, manipulative way of doing it. Exactly. This actually sounds like she is emotionally abusing Unavailable Guy and not even showing any guilt about it. This has nothing to do with love.
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