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Post by leavethelighton on Jan 6, 2019 20:06:26 GMT
If you can get over the trashy part, "You" actually ended up being very interesting in terms of attachment. The psychopath, who is very AP, dates both an FA woman and a secure woman, and comments on the contrast a lot (though doesn't use attachment theory terms). Even the contrasts around the stability of the different types of friends they all have seemed pretty spot on. And psychopathy aside, it seemed very accurate in the way the style pairings would play out. There's also a plot arc that involves the FA and the psychopath both going to individual therapy and the show sits in on their sessions. Of course, later on it gets back into being a crime thriller and gets appropriately preposterous, but it was more thought-provoking than I thought it could be as a heightened (for melodrama) character study. What was "trashy" about it, and how much violence and gore? Is it fiction? |
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Post by alexandra on Jan 6, 2019 22:05:59 GMT
What was "trashy" about it, and how much violence and gore? Is it fiction? Very much fiction. Trashy in a, Dexter meets Gossip Girl and becomes a TV series about a funny yet violent millennial stalker psychopath kind of way! But because it started on Lifetime, it's not that gory. Mostly people getting hit once with blunt objects and laying in blood or having bruises, and it's so little of the screen time it's easy to look away if you're squeamish. But I wouldn't recommend it if stalking is a trigger. It is, at its core, a crime thriller and character study, so it goes dark quickly. I don't usually watch anything produced by Lifetime, but it's actually been picked up by and switched over to Netflix for subsequent seasons, so my guess is both the production values and the violence and gore will go up in the future since it's no longer made for cable TV. |
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Post by Deleted on Jan 8, 2019 8:59:07 GMT
If you can get over the trashy part, "You" actually ended up being very interesting in terms of attachment. The psychopath, who is very AP, dates both an FA woman and a secure woman, and comments on the contrast a lot (though doesn't use attachment theory terms). Even the contrasts around the stability of the different types of friends they all have seemed pretty spot on. And psychopathy aside, it seemed very accurate in the way the style pairings would play out. There's also a plot arc that involves the FA and the psychopath both going to individual therapy and the show sits in on their sessions. Of course, later on it gets back into being a crime thriller and gets appropriately preposterous, but it was more thought-provoking than I thought it could be as a heightened (for melodrama) character study. I just watched this and it was really interesting. I've seen many people comment how confusing it is to feel sympathy for a psychopath when the story is told from his perspective, when his crimes are "justified". Then you wake up from that feeling and realize how sick it is. The viewer is being manipulated the same way as the characters in the show. It is an extreme demonstration of how people tend to explain away toxicity and danger for the sake of "love". Fiction has always idealized unhealthy obsession. It was also somewhat triggering. I could really relate to the FA woman, and what happened to her was like my worst nightmare (and to some extent, the story of my life); all my fearful, paranoid thoughts about my partner and other people being confirmed to be true. It depicts the vicious circle of the FA mindset: they keep choosing bad people, they become paranoid and fearful, then they start questioning their paranoia and blaming themselves (because they're "bad" too) and become too trustful again with the wrong persons. |
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Post by 8675309 on Jan 8, 2019 19:11:26 GMT
Suits is a great one. Harvey is DA and Louis is AP. Jessica is some sort of avoidant. Mike/Rachel/Donna are all secure. Totally! Harvey is surely DA! love that show. |
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Post by alexandra on Jan 9, 2019 23:57:32 GMT
I just watched this and it was really interesting. I've seen many people comment how confusing it is to feel sympathy for a psychopath when the story is told from his perspective, when his crimes are "justified". Then you wake up from that feeling and realize how sick it is. The viewer is being manipulated the same way as the characters in the show. It is an extreme demonstration of how people tend to explain away toxicity and danger for the sake of "love". Fiction has always idealized unhealthy obsession. I think it only didn't bother me as much because I had to go through all that processing about the ick many years ago when a roommate got me started on Dexter. I actually wonder if I rewatched some of Dexter now if I'd be far less okay with it, because when I first watched it I was AP and involved with a DA who physically resembled the actor, so I felt pretty ick about the show conceptually but it was also offset by some projection. I've done a bit of reading about the fangirls who are idealizing the psychopath on You as a good boyfriend, and I had no projections watching it that it was anything but awful behavior this time... even if his social commentary is funny. And I'm like oh no, that's all the AP women out there, not understanding why they have issues because they're viewing fiction and pop culture as saying sometimes abuse is justified and misunderstood! I did also appreciate the meta-ness that you as the audience are voyeuristically stalking the stalker. |
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Post by Deleted on Jan 10, 2019 10:06:10 GMT
I just watched this and it was really interesting. I've seen many people comment how confusing it is to feel sympathy for a psychopath when the story is told from his perspective, when his crimes are "justified". Then you wake up from that feeling and realize how sick it is. The viewer is being manipulated the same way as the characters in the show. It is an extreme demonstration of how people tend to explain away toxicity and danger for the sake of "love". Fiction has always idealized unhealthy obsession. I think it only didn't bother me as much because I had to go through all that processing about the ick many years ago when a roommate got me started on Dexter. I actually wonder if I rewatched some of Dexter now if I'd be far less okay with it, because when I first watched it I was AP and involved with a DA who physically resembled the actor, so I felt pretty ick about the show conceptually but it was also offset by some projection. I've done a bit of reading about the fangirls who are idealizing the psychopath on You as a good boyfriend, and I had no projections watching it that it was anything but awful behavior this time... even if his social commentary is funny. And I'm like oh no, that's all the AP women out there, not understanding why they have issues because they're viewing fiction and pop culture as saying sometimes abuse is justified and misunderstood! I did also appreciate the meta-ness that you as the audience are voyeuristically stalking the stalker. Yeah, many have compared it with Dexter. It was also distorted in how the psychopath was not only the abuser but also the victim. This is also the reality in many relationships, making it even harder to determine who really is to blame. The AP kind of love is an endless source of inspiration for pop culture, turning evil good with love, love against the odds, forbidden love, taking drama for passion... the less available or likely to work, the more attractive to AP, or even FA. I've been guilty of idealizing that kind of love myself. I don't think fiction needs to moralize or show right from wrong, but sometimes it can be very detrimental to show toxicity in a positive light, when it doesn't leave any room for interpretation that it actually is unhealthy. At least "You" tried to make it clear it was NOT something to be idealized (although the message was missed by many), but the same can't be said of the majority of popular fiction. |
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Post by anne12 on Feb 15, 2020 16:23:09 GMT
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Post by kittygirl on Feb 15, 2020 17:51:29 GMT
Brokeback Mountain! It's such a revealing look at how insecure attachment can play out over time (and of course we all know the famous line "I wish I could quit you!"). There is the complication of homosexuality, but MAN if it isn't about attachment (Ennis is a classic fearful avoidant and I think Jack is AP)
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Post by alexandra on Feb 15, 2020 18:52:43 GMT
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Post by anne12 on Feb 16, 2020 17:14:57 GMT
.. Rita: Following the life of a very outspoken and rebellious woman, Rita is a school teacher who is competent in the classroom, but seems to need a teacher of her own, when it comes to her personal life. youtu.be/Jq0hwEXhnJ0Beyond: On Saint Lucia's day, the happy life of a young Swedish family is disturbed by an unexpected phone call. Leena learns that her mother, with whom she's been broken for years, is dying and wants to say goodbye. Johan understands only up to a certain point the disturbance of his wife and, despite the many resistances, convinces her to leave with the two little girls to reach their unknown grandmother, hospitalized at 600 km away. The return to Ystad awakens in Leena memories of a childhood full of pain. The parents, immigrants from Finland, were a poor but also close-knit couple until the alcohol had taken over, weighing not so much on little Leena, already very strong and mature despite her young age, as on her little brother Sakari. youtu.be/r3RRDaAKTWE |
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Post by alexandra on Feb 16, 2020 19:49:00 GMT
anne12, it's very well written, and the second season (series) is even better and more profound than the first!
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Post by tnr9 on May 10, 2020 15:45:19 GMT
Every once in a while I watch blue valentine to remind me that not all couples have happy endings.
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Post by kittygirl on May 10, 2020 16:58:03 GMT
Every once in a while I watch blue valentine to remind me that not all couples have happy endings. God I love that movie so much |
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Post by mrob on May 11, 2020 2:50:01 GMT
If you can get over the trashy part, "You" actually ended up being very interesting in terms of attachment. The psychopath, who is very AP, dates both an FA woman and a secure woman, and comments on the contrast a lot (though doesn't use attachment theory terms). Even the contrasts around the stability of the different types of friends they all have seemed pretty spot on. And psychopathy aside, it seemed very accurate in the way the style pairings would play out. There's also a plot arc that involves the FA and the psychopath both going to individual therapy and the show sits in on their sessions. Of course, later on it gets back into being a crime thriller and gets appropriately preposterous, but it was more thought-provoking than I thought it could be as a heightened (for melodrama) character study. I could only get through a few episodes of that. It was just too confronting. I identified with the fear of being upfront and risk rejection and the need to get rid of opposition, although not in that way. I identified with a lot of his narrative, which really frightened me. What absolutely amazed me was that I was talking to someone about it and she could only see the good in him! I was stunned, because it’s pretty out there and sick, but it fits in attachment wise. |
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Post by alexandra on May 11, 2020 5:33:33 GMT
What absolutely amazed me was that I was talking to someone about it and she could only see the good in him! I was stunned, because it’s pretty out there and sick, but it fits in attachment wise. What's really interesting is the lead actor goes on social media and basically responds to posts of women romanticizing his character to remind them that the character is a psychopath, and they shouldn't see him any other way or imagine that dynamic could be in any sort of healthy relationship! |
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