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Post by anne12 on Jul 18, 2018 18:40:49 GMT
youtu.be/lGglw8eAikY - the sience of a heartbreak Some tips from an attatchment/SE therapist/love coach. Healing your broken heart: (all attatchment styles)
Sometimes it can bee a good thing, to heal a broken heart, before you can move on in your life.
There is something called "broken heart syndrome".
The broken heart can stem from an old relationship from many years ago. Also from the relationship with one of your parents ect.
Put your hand on your heart and comfort your heart.
Also comfort your inner child.
Work with a broken heart in 3 levels:
(maybe you have to only work with only one of the 3 levels)
The mental / the cognetive level:
What has happend in the relationship ?
Why did it end ?
What was my own tribute ?
What was my ex´s tribute ?
(There can be anger, sadness ect.)
It can be that, you diden´t had the chance to repair, because you or your ex ended the relationship.
It can be that you expected to grow old and having kids with this person, but it ended, so you couldent get your needs and wants met with this person.
(Women often walk alone with their thougts about being discatisfied in the relationship, and suddenly they can end the relationsship, which gives your partner a chock. Even if it was you, who ended the relatiohsship, your heart can be broken.)
That the relationship ended because of death.
If you or your partner cheated ect. can also cause a broken heart.
The broken heart can also stem from an old relationship from many years ago.
The emotional level:
Exercise: Think of your ex boyfriend/ex girlfriend. Maybe you know which hartbreake, that blocks you from moving on.
Say the persons name out loud.
What happens in your your body, when you think/say the persons name?
Which sensations and / or feelings:
Sensations: Nausia, contractions, headacke, tightnes ect.
Feelings: Frustration, sadness ect.
And where: In your stomac, your heart, your throath ect.?
The body never lies. Your body will tell you, how you feel now with that situation.
(The avoidant can have trouble feeling the feelings/the bodysensations)
It is normal to grieve and to be sad. Maybe you diden´t give yourself permission to be sad and to feel all your feelings ect.
You can use the paradoxial change method, to help you to accept your sadness, the anger and other feelings that comes up. The moment you are able to allow the feeling, the mood or the state to be there, as it is - it can change.
When we experience negative feelings, moods or states, we would like to change these. But the urge can give a battle inside. The paradoxical change method is, to change without struggle:
jebkinnisonforum.com/thread/1128/accepting-paradoxial-change-method
There is often also some anger. The relationsship dident work out, as you wanted. Anger is a natural feeling. Use Leonard Jacobsens angermeditation and the two chair exercise to get you anger transformed into lifeenergy, so that you can move on.
jebkinnisonforum.com/post/25648/ - anger meditation
The instinctive level:
(unconsious level- survivel instincts - reptile part of the brain)
The body and the nerveussystem. The part you can not control - created in your childhood and maby also later in your life.
Fight, flight, freeze. When you can not fight or flee, you go into freeze mode.
Your attatchment style, shows how you bond. This part of the brain, chooses who you attract. As a child, you do not choose your attatchment style.
The old part of the brain, do not know the difference between the past, the precent and the future.
What is love for you (inprinted in your nerveus system from your childhood) ?:
Calming, relaxing, happyness, loving, carring, belonging, connection, stability, trusting ect ?
Or fear, abandoment, overwhelming, unpredictable, needyness, crossing of boundaries, shame, not safe, lonelyness ect. ?
Look at in the general forum on how to heal the different kinds of attachment styles.
You can also look at the watertank exercise.
Release the pressure and the blocks in the nerveus system to be able to move on. Calming/landing your state of alert!
(sometitmes it can be difficult to sence, but you can sometimes feel it/it often kicks in, in stressfull situations)
Work with a therapist, who knows how to work with the instinctive level (SE).
jebkinnisonforum.com/post/31863/ - watertank exercise
Treat you heart as an broken arm:
Put it in a bandage. Put your hand on your heart, and comfort your heart.
Give your heart some rest - do not date again too soon, but grieve aso. It can take some time.
Open your heart slowly, and train your heart muscle again by trying dating ect.
(You can work with a therapist on this.)
youtu.be/kse_htoXR_Uwww.ted.com/talks/guy_winch_how_to_fix_a_broken_heart/up-next?language=daHSP www.happyhighlysensitivelife.com/blog/cope-with-breakup-as-highly-sensitive-person
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Post by anne12 on Oct 21, 2019 17:50:58 GMT
Have you had an ex with npd/BPD/aspd?
Boundary violations, degrading treatment can affect our nervous system and our intuition may have been harmed by having been in a relationship with a narcissist ect.
We can doubt, whether we can rely on our intuition afterwards.
There has often been an overstepping of boundaries in the relationship
Your own judgment and intuition has been manipulated.
You are going to live in an alarm condition state in the relationship and after the relationship has ended. Chok trauma and unsertanty can get stuck in your nerveussystem.
Therefore, it may be a good thing to get the trauma energy landed by an SE / attatchment therapist.(working on the instinktive level - reptile brain level) -talk therapy is often not enough.
Also working with boundaries and working on how to trust other people/a potentional partner again.
There may have been a lot of jealousy, violations, accusations in the relationship.
Either you won't date again (given up state) or you will attract a new partner, who also will overstep your boundaries.
You can also try to find out if there has been any kind of crossed boundaries in your childhood. This can be the reason why you attract people who violates you
(An attatchment/SE/trauma therapist.)
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Post by happyidiot on Oct 21, 2019 19:28:57 GMT
Exercise: Think of your ex boyfriend/ex girlfriend. Maybe you know which hartbreake, that blocks you from moving on. Say the persons name out loud. What happens in your your body, when you think/say the persons name? I can't say it. |
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Post by camper78 on Oct 22, 2019 11:37:39 GMT
Exercise: Think of your ex boyfriend/ex girlfriend. Maybe you know which hartbreake, that blocks you from moving on. Say the persons name out loud. What happens in your your body, when you think/say the persons name? I can't say it. oh, honey  <hug> |
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Post by happyidiot on Oct 23, 2019 3:21:48 GMT
oh, honey <hug> Thanks. Hugs to you too. |
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Post by anne12 on Dec 12, 2019 16:18:11 GMT
The watertank exercise
SE
The watertank exercise:
All attatchmentstyles - also for the dismissive when they beging to come out of their numbness)
This exercise is developed by some of the leading attatchment/trauma/SE/body experts in the world:
Think of a lightning that connects to the ground.
If we are exposed to a chock or something that is overwhelming, adrenaline is released quickly and automatically a portion of energy in the body, so that we can fight or escape. If you have not had the opportunity to respond to the event, then that amount of energy can be locked in the body - you've got a trauma. This energy causes imbalance in the nervous system and can lead to various symptoms. Fortunately, you can free up the energy by unloading and regulating the nervous system.
If you do, you call it self-regulation. One of the ways you can do it, is based on the water tank model. One uses a water tank as a picture of the body. The water symbolizes the energy. The ambivalent / nervous and disorganized attatched has difficulty controlling the autonomic nervous system itself. So if you have any of these types of attatchmentstyles, it will be a great investment for you to train and use these "water tanks" activities. IT can help the ambivalent to stop overthinking ect At the same time, it will be hard for you to get flow in these exercises. Your nervous system typically needs a person who can already regulate himself. One with a more secure attachment or possibly a trauma therapist. When you know how to do it, you can practise everyday.
WATER TANK MODEL: If you fill more and more water in a water tank and it has no drainage, the pressure in the tank will rise and it may be close to bursting. What do you do? Well, you can drill holes in the water tank. In these holes you put water hoses to water out and water pressure may fall. Same with our body: When there is too much trauma energy in the body, the pressure / excitement rises. The water hoses can be compared to our arms and legs. This way, energy that is bound to the symptoms can leave the body. Then the pressure / tension decreases and the symptoms ease. In addition, the energy gets a larger space to distribute itself and the pressure / excitement becomes smaller.
However, the water hoses may be blogged, so that the water is difficult to drain.
Then clean the water hoses, so that the water can flow freely. Similarly, in the body can be found blockages in our arms and legs that prevent the free flow of energy. Typical blocking sites are in joints (especially knee).
It is therefore beneficial to move your joints quietly to loosen them and thus loosen the blockages. Rarely, energy can be blocked, where the nerve protrudes from the arms and legs.
That is, in the upper part of the back (arms) or at the lower back (legs). If you are having trouble feel the feelings in your arms and / or legs after you have loosened the joints - then the blockage presumably where the nerve originates from the spine.
Another way to get the energy flowing freely is by touch. The hardest part by this, is to remember to use it in the situation! The activity helped tsunami victims in India in 2004 to regulate their nervous system and get healed symptoms again after just an hour's SE trauma session including touch (there were no resources for multiple sessions). As there was acute trauma, the healing was obviously, clearer, faster and easier than if you have trauma of older date. Though you have no trauma, it will be a good activity to gain more ownership of the body and to to cope with more pressure and stress in your everyday life!
A locked survival energy in the body produces imbalance. As life naturally gives some knubs, the imbalance can gradually be so great that you develop symptoms. Like a pendulum that gets too much speed and can not settle by itself.
It gives much relief and an easier life when you get the frozen energy solved.
Sometimes you need the help of an (SE) trauma therapist before the energy can be landed properly.
Self regulation of ANS = the nerveus system (Watertankexersice) - mini exersice: Prevents the aftermath of chocks, stress ect. (All attatchmentstyles, but expecially good for AP´s, FA´s or people with some traits of AP or FA)
(give this exercise about 12 min. - after some practise you can do it faster)
Sit on a hard chair, breathe in and out 3 times. Feel the chair supporting you, feel your sitbones, thies, legs and feet. If you cant feel your seat knots, move your hips from side to side. Move your feet, toes. If you can not feel your feet, move your toes and feet. You can lift your leg and puch your leg out one by one (like a child being born on the way out of the birth canal). Sence the sensations. Feel your seat knots, legs and feet. Can you feel the rest of your body? It is okay if you can not feel the rest of your body. Rest your arms on your thies. Feel your arms your underarm and the upper arm. Then feel your hands. If you can not feel your hands, move your fingers. Look at your hand palms and move your fingers. Let the energy/sensations move down through your arms and legs.
Notice your body - the shift in your body and in your breathing.
Maybe you feel heat or cold that runs out through your arms and hands or/and legs and feet, or a shaking, leaning, vibrate or electricity, champange bobbles, tingeling ect. Also feel what effect it has on the rest of the body: the stomach, chest, breathing etc. (Is there more room than before? Or easier? Has it cleared?)
What effect does it have on your mood? (Have you arrived more into the precent? Easier? When you get more in touch with yourself, you may also become more sad, angry ect...)
What effect does it have on your thoughts? (Are they quieter?)
If you can´t get the enegy moving, your joints can be blocked. Look at the decription below, on how to release the blocks.
Self-regulation - legs:
You do not have to close your eyes. You only need that, if you find it hard to feel something. If you are used to meditate and / or feel the body, it is best that you have your eyes open and have 70% of your attention to the body. Then, the body can do a lot better work, because you do not disturb it (by trying to control the energy and the body). You can read the instructions as you do the activity.
Brand means in this context that you send your attention to the given area, and
just curiously register as objectively as possible, what you sense. Just do not try to relax
or feel something specific or analyze what you feel or why.
· Start by feeling your legs and feet. As a woman, it is also beneficial to feel the sead knots
(women usually ground through this part of the body)
· Move the toes and feet (one foot at a time) slightly while you feel your feet
· Then feel both feet and legs
· Has it been easier to feel your feet and legs?
· You can move your feet a little more
· Move your knees back and forth, one at a time - as you simply feel
· Notice the legs and feet again
· Move the hip joint one at a time
· Feel legs and feet
· Maybe you feel heat or cold that runs out through your legs and feet or a shaking, leaning,
vibrate or electricity, or that the anxiety leaves the body
· Feel both legs and feet, AND at the same time what effect it has on the rest of the body: The stomach, chest, breathing etc. (Is there more room than before? Or easier? Has it cleared?)
· What effect does it have on your mood? (Have you gotten more present? Were easier? Then you get more in touch with yourself but you can also get more sad, angry or ...)
· What effect does it have on your thoughts? (Are they quieter?)
· If you still do not feel, repeat the movement of the different joints sometimes quietly and with attention
o Test it with eyes closed
o Help your body awareness by putting your hands on the joints
o It may be quite effective to do the activity together with others, especially if they are good at
beeing be present and pay attention to their own body
o If you have used this activity for a few days, and still do not feel anything, then there can be
a blockage in the nerve at its source (lower back)
Self-regulation - arms:
You do not have to close your eyes. You only need that if you find it hard to feel something. If you are used to To meditate and / or feel the body, it's best that you have open eyes and only use approx. 70% off your attention to the body. You can read the instructions as you do the activity. Brand still means that you send your attention to the given area, and just curiously register as objectively as possible what you sense. Do not try to relax or feel something specific or analyze what you feel or why.
· Start by feeling your arms and hands
· Look at your hands and move your fingers
· Move the wrist (one at a time) as you feel your hands
· Then feel both arms and hands again
· Has it been easier to feel them?
· You can move your hands a bit more - look at them too!
· Move the elbows back and forth, one at a time - as you simply feel
· Notice arms and hands again
· Move the shoulder joint one at a time
· Feel arms and hands
· Maybe you feel heat or cold that runs out through your arms and hands or a shaking, leaning,
vibrate or electricity
· Now feel both arms and hands, AND at the same time what effect it has on the rest of the body: the stomach, chest, breathing etc. (Is there more room than before? Or easier? Has it cleared?)
· What effect does it have on your mood? (Have you arrived more? Easier? When you get more in touch with yourself, you may also become more sad, angry or angry ...)
· What effect does it have on your thoughts? (Are they quieter?)
· If you still do not feel, repeat the movement of the different joints sometimes quietly and with attention
o Test it with eyes closed
o Help your body awareness by putting your hands on the joints
o It may be quite effective to do the activity together with others, especially if they are good at beeing precent and in their body
Be present and pay attention to the body
o Use this activity for some days. If it dosent work, there is probably a blockage in the nerve at its source (upper part of the spine)
Then do the water tank exercise (the first exercise) again:
Sit on a hard chair, feel the chair supporting you, feel your seat knots, legs and feet. Move your feet, toes. Rest your arms on your thies. Feel your arms and hands. Look at your hand palms and move your fingers. Let the energy/sensations move down through your arms and legs. Notice the shift in your body and when your breathing gets more relaxed.
Just accept the different sensations in your body. Accept the feeling that comes up. How does it feel to be you right now.
You can use the exercise if you can feel that you are going to cry. Also you can use it to stop overthinking, stress ect.
When you know the exercise well, you can use it anywhere - the short version. (Sitting bones, legs and feet grounding and wickle your toes). (Its energy work and not meditation)
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Post by anne12 on Dec 12, 2019 17:35:17 GMT
Exercise: (instinktive level)
Healing of a broken heart:
Ending something in your present relationship is a new beginning
Your current partner may have hurt your heart/feelings
It can also be a past partner
or friends, ex partner, mom or dad ect.who have hurt you
When a relationship ends or you yourself end the relationship.
What does it take for you to end a past relationship and close the door for good or what does it take for your current relationship to change in a new way?
If there is much grief or anger, this must be handled before you do this exercise.
Who do you want to work with, that you have been hurt by?
Breath in and out 3 times. Feel the chair carry your weight and feel how the body is supported by the chair.
Notice that the body is breathing.
Imagine the person you are thinking of sitting in front of you. If it is a person you have felt threatened by, then you can use your competent protector to help you (tiger, a policeman, a friend, a dog, a teacher, an ex, a parent/grandparent ect.)
When you contact the person, ask the person "what color light do you need from me to be able to end our relationship?"
Imagine the light streaming into you, down through the top your head and down through your body, out of the solar plexus, and into the other persons solar plexus.
Stop when the other person say, they have had enough light.
Then tell the other person what color light you need from the other person to be able to finish your relationship.
Imagine the light streaming down through the other persons head and out through their solar plexus and into your solar plexus.
Say stop when you're full.
If you have resistance of letting go, allow the resistance to be there.
If not possible to let go, do the exercise another day.
When you are filled up with light, say "thank you".
Then ask the other person "what gift do you need from me?" Use the light or give the other person your gift with your hand.
A gift can be a thing that you can bring with you.
Do NOT give your heart to the other person!!!!!
Notice what happens in your body, when you give the other person your gift?.
Then ask the other person "what gift have you got for me?"
Do not let the other person leave before the other person has given you a gift.
Maybe it's positive, maybe it's negative, maybe the other person has nothing to give you (this shows the dynamic in your relationship - you were the giver, the other was the reciever).
Feel your mood and feel the sensations in the body as you receive the gift.
Why do this exercise:
Every time your heart gets hurt, then your heart closes a little. Then the more difficult it will be to open yourself up and recieve/give love in your present or future relationship.
The exercise helps you to heal at the instinktive level. (Different than the mental and the emotional level)
♥️
An attatchment, SE, love coach
- this exercise is inspired by Chris Griscom
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Post by anne12 on Feb 6, 2020 13:43:21 GMT
If you have got ex-partners you don't have peace with, that is that you:
- miss
- hate
- is angry with (maybe without knowing this or not noticing it)
- or that the person has broken your confidence or self-esteem/self-worth
Ect.
Then love is not just around the corner. It's not fair, but that's the way it is.
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Post by anne12 on Oct 14, 2020 17:52:47 GMT
"I'm in a difficult situation - I just had my heart broken. For a year I have been seeing the most beautiful man in the world, with whom I so wanted to have a real relationship. We never got to call ourselves boyfriend/girlfriend - but often met and had fun together and also did boyfriend/girlfriend-like things such as spending whole weekends together, going on trips, etc. But I never really felt that he wanted me all the way. Yet he wrote several times every single day and was sweet and helpful with everything. On the sexual level, it all worked SO well and we have had so many exciting talks together. But it was all the time as if we were both holding up a shield in front of us of fear of being hurt. And yes, eventually it ended up with that he said, we should probably at some point consider ending before it got too difficult. And then I hurried to say goodbye. I feel so bad and long so terribly for him. - How do I mobilize to be a good and present mother, when I am so empty, sad, lonely and unhappy inside. I feel that my life is a big lie and that every day is a struggle. I try to work on my self-esteem, but do not quite reach my goal." Answer: Thanks for your question and especially for your trust! Oh, yes it's a difficult place for you. It's almost the worst place you can be in your love life: "If only… then maybe we could have had the very best relationship you could imagine!" Yes, your heart is broken! It's been sourounded by love for a year, or at least attention - and it often feels like the same thing. It has therefore been open to some extent. Maybe even very open by your standards? Sudden breakups - are hard. So how do you heal a broken heart? You're in crisis. You can feel it. This breakup corresponds to the fact that you had lost your job, your home or even a close family member. It would be best to be on sick leave for a short period of time, maybe just a week. Unless it serves you better to be at work. Work in such situations can sometimes be the only place where you do NOT think of HIM and therefore is an oasis. Then of course you do not have to call your Work and tell that you are sick. What will be good to do to heal the broken heart? It sounds like you know what's good for you to do: - Be sweet and kind to yourself (speak nicely to yourself also in your thoughts and allow the sadness, pain, anger and other emotions to be there - without them deciding) - Give yourself care = do the things that makes you happy: listen to good music, swim, go out in nature, use your body, etc. - Surround yourself with good friends and talk about something else than him.. Stop exposing yourself to your ex. If possible, remove anything that may remind you of him / her. If these are things you do not want to throw away, keep them away for at least 1 month. Stop finding explanations for the breakup. It's your brain trying to get its usual dopamine kick. Instead of getting the kick out of having contact with your ex, the brain is so smart, that it looks for explanations, like an addict looking for its next fix. Write a list of ALL the NEGATIVE things about your ex that you can think of. The longer the better. Feel free to get friends to help you. Write it on your mobile phone, and then look at it, EVERY time you feel the urge to think about your ex. Especially of course when you are idealizing your ex relationship. Help your nervous system get more into balance again so that you can be present in the precent moment. Do the water tank exercise: Or pay attention to your breathing: Just notice that you are breathing without changing your breath. Take a deep breath and exhale slowly with your mouth open and make a sound in the meantime. Do it 3-5 times. Find out what gaps your ex filled up in your life and make a list of what it was your ex contributed to in your life. For each point, find out how you can fill that gap in your life in a different way than through a boyfriend Allow the grief to be there: It is a loss to lose someone you love, therefore there will be a natural grief. Allow it to be there in the beginning on a daily basis - give it a place where it is ok if you cry (tears are healing) Gratitude will lift your mood and your energy. Just find tiny little things that you can be thankful for. It is not WHAT you are grateful for - but the STATE of gratitude that you feel in your body. The past interferes with the pain in your broken heart now but on top of that, the past also comes into play. Your love story. Your upbringing. If you have previously experienced losses in your life. Again, it's not fair at all that when you are already in pain, your past can catch up with you BIG TIME! Okay, your question to me was how to mobilize energy to be a good mom. As I said possibly. sick leave and self-love along with some self-pampering. Since we humans are herd animals, it's important that you use your social network right now! Depending on your children's age, they may have some more appointments with their friends and sleep overs incl. grandparents right now! Or maybe they can spend a little more time with their dad for a short period of time? How can you be present with your children when your heart is broken? Because it can be really hard to be present with them right now. It is the degree of presence that determines how good a parent you are. -it is not the degree of service you provide to your children that makes you a good parent! Maybe you can turn down the service for a while? Depending on their age, you can motivate them differently, from "When you help me, I have more time to do something with you afterwards" to "I do not have much energy right now because xx and I have broken up - so you need to help me more than you usually do!" The time horizon is different as it depends on your resilience, ie how well your nervous system is able to process and relate to the fracture. It depends both on your genes and on what you have got in your baggage. Spend time in the precent moment with your children - practice being in the now. Be in the moment with your children when you ARE with your children, practice being in the now. Discover when you are not present with them e.g. because your thoughts wander and your heart hurts. Use the Paradoxical method of change: if it is the pain and or the grief, then locate where in the body it sits, and then say to the pain/grief just inside yourself: “It's okay, you are allowed to be here right now, now that you are here!" - If there is a part of you who does not think that the pain and or the grief is allowed to be there, then say to this part: "Ok, you are allowed be here right now!" Turn focus to your children specifically by seeing, listening, smelling, feeling and sensing them - also behind their words and actions describe as objectively as you can, just inside yourself, as possible, what your senses register (without assessments or analyzes) A broken heart can create thick defensive walls and the heart can shut down. www.ted.com/talks/guy_winch_how_to_fix_a_broken_heart/up-next?language=da |
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Post by anne12 on Oct 17, 2020 7:04:46 GMT
Rewrite your challeging relationships jebkinnisonforum.com/thread/2544/exercise-rewrite-challenging-relationshipsThe more good relationships you have in your life the more secure you will become. The more insecure relationships you've got the more you can be pushed into some of the 3 insecure attachment patterns and then you can find it difficult to get healthy relationships afterwards. Write down: What good relationships do you have in your life now ? What is good in your life now ?. Then write down the relationships that have been challenging. Write what was good. Then write down what you would have wanted that had been more of in the challenging relationship and feel it in your body. What would you have whished had happened. Your old part of the brain does not know the difference between past and present. It believes that everything is happening right now. If you feel it in your body, your brain thinks it is the reality. www.forbes.com/2010/11/16/sabbatical-career-break-forbes-woman-well-being-reinvention.html?sh=239dc6d276bb |
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Post by anne12 on Oct 17, 2020 7:55:52 GMT
jebkinnisonforum.com/thread/2836/heart-back-giveLove/Sexuality Exercise - Take your heart back and give from the heart Do you have a tendencie to give your heart away in your love life ? What happens if you loose your partner or your partner dies ? Where is your heart then ? How can you attatch, when your heart is not available for yourself ? You need to be able to attatch without loosing yourself and your heart in the future. Love/Sexuality Developmental Stage: Age 3 -> 6 years The connection between Heart and Genitals Differentiate between giving from the heart vs. giving the heart away To take your heart back you have to use theese muscles: Trapezius Rhomboids Serratus posterior superior Trapezius Sit on a chair. Feel your sit bones, legs and feet. Breathe in and out 3 times - you have to breathe into your back Then slowly seperate your shoulderblades and reach out in the air infront of you with your arms. Use your musles between your shoulderblades to reach out for your heart. Not only using your arms. Do it slowly. Then gently grab your heart with your hands, hold it gently infront of you with your arms straight, look at your heart with tenderneess and say out loud while looking at your heart: "Now I'm taking my 💓 back. I need it. It was a misunderstanding, that I gave my heart away to you, so I'm takeing it back now, so that I will be able to connect deeply from my heart in the future" Then slowly take your heart back to yourself, pulling your arms back while pushing your shoulderblades together and down pushing your chest a little forward. Then place your heart, where your heart usually belongs in your body. Be carefull not to collapse in your body, when pulling your arms back, but try to keep your back straight pushing your chest a little forward, so that you are taking your heart back and keeping your dignety Then sit with your hands placed on your heart for a while and feel into your body. Breathe in and out a couple of times. Say out loud: "This is my heart. I need it. I want it. I will be able to keep my own heart and give from my heart, whenever I choose to in the future" How does it feel to get your heart back ? How does it feel in your body ? Then open your hands slowly.
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Post by anne12 on Jan 25, 2021 20:33:05 GMT
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Post by anne12 on Jan 25, 2021 20:36:46 GMT
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Post by anne12 on Jan 25, 2021 20:41:13 GMT
BBC - divorce ceremony After 25 years of marriage, Mark and Dilly end their relationship with an emotional yet surprisingly beautiful divorce ceremony, and Grayson offers them a special gift... www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbeW-Yw2pR0 |
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Post by anne12 on Mar 21, 2021 7:22:23 GMT
Ending marrige with grace and respect - rituals: ideas.ted.com/ending-a-marriage-with-grace-and-respect/This kind of ritual has caught the public imagination in recent years, dubbed “conscious uncoupling” by author Katherine Woodward Thomas. I invite couples to write goodbye letters to each other: letters that capture what they’ll miss, what they cherish, what they take responsibility for, and what they wish for each other. This allows them to honor the riches of their relationship, to mourn the pain of its loss and to mark its legacy. Even if it is done with a cooled heart, it can nonetheless provide solace. Rituals that can help you with closure - moving of your partners items or your own items from you ex partners house - the parts of us that is still there - brakeup letters, sometimes you send them, sometimes you dont, sometimes you send them to your friends - go to places that you used to go to together that you and your ex used to like one last time - journalicing - plan a trip for yourself - taking yourself on a date - turning the room where your ex had their stuff, and turn it into a room for your own hobbies - work, distractions, connections will help you - having a brakeup party with your friends and sharing with them and they can also share their own brakeups experiences with you and you can listen to poems, songs ect together with your friends Remember that you are not just the rejected part, but you are so mush more than that Esther perel |
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