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Post by anne12 on Sept 23, 2022 5:06:45 GMT
Women can’t experience being loved, until they experience of being safe.
Women adapt to how (physical) weak they are all the time
When was the last time you as a woman experienced a thread for your physical safety ? - you experienced or perceived a threat to your physical safety e.g. you took your keys out before you reached a building - within the last 24 hours, the last week, the last month ect. ?
Women perception of a threat is so much more sensitive because of being the smaller and weaker gender.
For women it’s a primal fear, it’s ancient
Womens perception of a threat, is so much more sensitive than a man’s. Am I safe, am I safe, am I safe…
After she can say yes to being safe, she can experience of being loved
Men will not get the best (love, joy, happiness, generosity, warmth, ect.) from a woman, until she experience being safe
This makes women a part of who they are
If you ask a man the same questions, there’s a change that he will hardly remember the last time he felt unsafe, maybe he has to go all the way back to childhood
Men are often not aware how much stronger they are than a woman.
Testosterone makes a man’s connective tissue and muscles stronger than womens. Even if he is a small guy compared to a woman, he will be stronger because of testosterone
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Post by anne12 on Sept 28, 2022 12:49:38 GMT
Who is better at "reading" people, women or men?
Studies show that women are 5-7 times better at reading situations, moods and emotions.
Fortunately, it's something we can all get better at if we practice it. social skills and being able to "read" people are extremely important - also in a company where we have to create results together.
We must be able to read and understand our colleagues, employees, customers, partners, children, family members ect.
Many people are so much in their heads that they find it difficult to read their surroundings, empathize or have situational awareness.
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Post by anne12 on Oct 12, 2022 18:26:42 GMT
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Post by anne12 on Oct 23, 2022 11:41:57 GMT
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Post by anne12 on Oct 23, 2022 12:32:39 GMT
The singer Beyoncé is privately quite a shy lady. But not on stage. Here she finds her alter ego, Sasha Fierce. She is aggressive and straight forward. The strategy is smart, And it can also be used by you. “When I'm on stage I'm aggressive and strong and not afraid of my sexuality. The tone of my voice gets different, and I'm fearless. I'm just a different person.” This is what the American singer Beyonce has said [in an interview in the Daily Mail, UK] about her alter-ego Sasha Fierce. Beyonce has named her herself, created her - to set herself free on stage. I turn into Sasha. I wouldn't like Sasha if I met her off stage. She's too aggressive, too strong, too sassy, too sexy! I'm not like her in real life at all. I'm not flirtatious and super-confident and fearless like her. I created Sasha Fierce as my stage persona ... so that when I go home, I don't have to think about what it is I do. Sasha isn't me. The people around me know who I really am. It's a way for me to differentiate what I do onstage from who I really am. Beyonce's strategy is smart—and you can use it, too. Beyonce has therefore consciously created her stage persona. A persona that is different from who she is in private. A persona she can pull out of the closet when she needs her. See, that's smart. In shadow work, this 'technique' is used a lot, that is to - consciously - play with and explore a so-called 'sub-personality'. (Part personality is a concept that originates from Roberto Assagioli's Psychosynthesis and Jungian psychology). We all contain a myriad of sub-personalities - different voices, characters, inner psychological forces, which are often at odds with each other. The gentle and the harsh, the shy and the flamboyant, the underplayed and the overplayed, etc. Who lives inside you? You probably know it well - that you don't just have one self, but many. Many little men and women living inside you, each speaking with their own voice, having their own needs, desires and ways of expression. One of them (Fitness Fie) says for example that you should go for a run, while another (Hedonist Hanna) begs for one more piece of chocolate cake. Every sub-personality contains its opposite (shadow) - and we can use the conscious play and experimentation with our sub-personalities to set ourselves free, to unfold, to break boundaries, to grow and develop. If we remain strongly identified with our persona (the face we show to the outside world), we can quickly (or slowly) feel stuck and limited. The difference between Beyoncé and BritneyBeyonce is a sweet, happy, smiling, polite and slightly shy girl from Texas. But she is also everything else. And if she hadn't created Sasha Fierce as her stage persona, she might have either lost her passion for performing or 'made a Britney Spears'. Britney Spears tried - possibly under pressure from both management and record company - to maintain the innocent, sweet, little-girl image she became known for as a teenager The problem was just that she was also (of course!) much more and something else than that. She was getting older. She was no longer a one-dimensional, sugary, pristine pop princess. Oops I did it... And when she could no longer bear the massive projection ('perfect and innocent') she had no choice but to shave off all her hair and go wild in sinful ferocity for a period of time. The shadow took over, so to speak. And that's what the shadow does. When we hold it down. For too long. Sasha can be unpacked and packed down again. That's why Beyonce's strategy is smart. Because here it is Beyonce herself who chooses - consciously, awake, adult - to give room to other sides of her personality. In a healthy way. As she herself says; when the concert is over, Sasha Fierce is packed down again. And it's Beyonce who packs her down and out - as needed. Sasha Fierce is not a dangerous, erratic ghost who can pop up at inopportune times and wreak havoc in Beyonce's life. She is an accepted and recognized sub-personality who is under controly What can YOU learn from Beyonce? You can learn to use your own sub-personalities constructively. And consciously. Perhaps it would be appropriate for you to create a persona that you can highlight when you go to a job interview. Someone who is confident, fearless and ambitious. Or how about a dating persona? The kind of person who isn't afraid to flirt, take the initiative and be a little cheeky. Or maybe someone who is quiet, reserved and loving? Music video Beyoncé- youtu.be/_PGh6SeglHMwww.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-9881773/Beyonce-defied-corporate-advice-created-biggest-commercial-success-Sasha-Fierce.htmlHere's how you do it! 1) Consider in which situations you would like to have the freedom to behave differently than you normally do (e.g. at work, as a parent, as a lover, at a party) 2) Identify a role model or create a persona for each of these scenarios. 3) Write down the characteristics that characterize this persona. 4) Give your persona a name (which is different from your own) eg Ambitious Anna, Flirtatious Frida, Caring Carla etc. 5) Use your personas/sub-personalities when needed. Play with them. Give them space. This is not fake. On the contrary, it is an honest way of showing your many faces. And hey! If you are very creative, you can make a small collage with pictures of each of your sub-personalities - for example on the back of a postcard or an A4 sheet. Go crazy. A shadow worker
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Post by anne12 on Nov 6, 2022 11:36:34 GMT
Females and fawning
D) Fawn responce
pete-walker.com/codependencyFawnResponse.htm
taylorlab.psych.ucla.edu/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2014/10/2000_Biobehavioral-responses-to-stress-in-females_tend-and-befriend.pdf
What is Fawning? Fawning it is a protective state in which our nervous system unconsciously and automatically prioritises our safety over the authenticity of our expressions. The term was first coined by Pete Walker, therapist and author, and has been picked up by many interested in Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory. Fawning is a stress response that allows us to imitate a “safe and social” ventral vagal state, when we are feeling threatened. It happens when it is either not possible, or it would increase danger to ourselves, to Fight or Flee (high sympathetic responses) from the perceived threat. It is also sometimes called appeasement or "people pleasing”. In this state, we may say or do things that are incongruent with our true feelings, as a survival mechanism. We might act in a way that is friendly, agreeable, even funny, even though we are feeling angry or scared (threatened). We might surrender our own needs or preferences, due to fear that expressing them might make us more unsafe. When it isn't safe to fight or flee, then pretending to agree with, and perhaps even flatter, the source of "threat" can be a way of achieving safety. The less threatening we appear to another (e.g. a predator), the less likely they are to attack us. They might even relax enough to allow us to escape from the situation unscathed (“Flight”). An extreme example of Fawning can be seen when people are being held against their will, and attempting to Fight or Flee will not bring them more safety, but more likely lead to an increased risk of harm to them. This can become Stockholm Syndrome, where they begin to identify with their captor, and feel bonded with them. In terms of the autonomic nervous system, fawning is thought to be a state that involves both high sympathetic activation (stress) and a degree of dorsal vagal (shutdown) engagement. That means that we have lots of sympathetic energy in our bodies, which by itself would make us act bigger, louder, and more threatening. But the dorsal vagal immobilisation tones down our expression, so we act smaller, quieter, and less threatening.
Females:
In trauma studies, we have tended to regard the nervous system as sex and gender neutral. However because women, on average, have far more estrogen than most men do, women are disproportionately impacted by the social nervous system, both its strengths and weaknesses. Estrogen is a bonding hormone that primes us to be perceptive and attuned toother people’s experiences. This awareness of and care for social bonds is crucial for the survival of our species and is an extraordinary gift. It evolved so that we would take exquisite care of our young. That said, there are downsides to our bonding superpowers.
We are more susceptible to the social nervous system reactions under stress—both fitting in and fawning. Women are often more prone to social comparison, concerned about how our actions are or will be perceived, and hung up on friendship and relationship problems. We can minimize our perspectives, opinions, intelligence, and aspirations to keep the peace or maintain the status quo of our relationships, family, or work life. These concerns about belonging can become deafening and keep us in unhealthy situations—whether they’re dates or jobs or marriages—way longer than we might like or might be good for us, because we are afraid to break connection, to not be liked, to be labeled a tease, demanding, selfish, or bitchy. We are hardwired to care more about connection and be more socially invested in our relationships than men are.
A better understanding of the impact of hormones could also help us understand some of these behaviors. In the meantime, we can also develop considerable agency when we examine our relationship to social norms, which may be operating to create some level of primal safety but may not be serving our best interests and our true, long-term safety and well-being. Women are confused as to why hey went along with their doctor’s recommendation when it dident feel right, or stayed with an abusive partner, or had sex again with someone who violated them. Yes, our conditioning to be “good,” “nice,” and not disruptive comes into play here, but so does our internal sense of survival, which tells us that we may not survive separation or conflict. Many women have gone back to their abusers, back into situations where abuse was likely to continue, or simply remained in dangerous environments even though they knew it was unhealthy. It makes no logical sense; why would we do that to ourselves? But the social nervous system sometimes compels us to pull threats closer, and we feel “safer” with proximity to a known threat than with one that is lurking somewhere out in the world.
Have you ever felt like you just couldn’t have a difficult conversation, even with someone you loved and trusted? You waited and waited, because that interpersonal conflict seemed like such a big deal you could barely handle it? Beneath the fear of confrontation or conflict might also be a fear of losing that connection, and depending on your past history of belonging and attachment, it can feel incredibly scary and difficult to end a relationship. Similarly, consider a more extreme situation in which a woman finds herself afraid for her physical safety, where someone has power over her. Her desire to please and remain socially connected can override her deeper impulses and instincts, and ultimately that can lead to a lot of shame and blame. She will ask herself questions like “Why didn’t I speak up? Protect myself? Get away? Fight?”
Once again, it is essential that we women remember this is not a moral issue; we need to learn about, respect, and have compassion for the survival mechanisms of this complex social nervous system of ours. The more we understand, the more power, more choices, and more true safety is available to us. Being attuned to our social environment is important. Can youimagine if no one paid attention to how their actions impacted others? We’d all be terrible neighbors. That’s not a world we want live in. However, many women err on the side of taking upless space, remaining quiet, becoming invisible, swallowing their needs so as not to create waves or conflict. We unconsciously choose these behaviors, which become habits, and personality styles, because conflict can threaten the intactness of our social nervous system that is critical to our survival.
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Post by anne12 on Apr 2, 2023 3:16:27 GMT
Are you primary feminie in your essense:
You love it when someone arranges something for you You love when others are in control of the details and others sets the framework for you You love to talk about feelings Talking about your feelings helps you to process and to find out how you are feeling. You love when someone cares about you / takes care of you You love and you are good at receiving gifts, compliments, hugs You feel closer to your partner when you are having sex on a regular basis You open both your sex and your heart when you are having sex with your partner You love when you can lean into your partner You feel comfortable when you feel protected You like/want to lean into your partner, your friends, family You like when your partner stands behind you and he/She puts his/her hands around you You like to be little spoon You like to feel that other people got your back You feel more than you think You like to be found, instead of grabbing for what you want
If you havent experienced this in your relationships, in your life you can put on an armor to feel protected
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Post by anne12 on Jul 8, 2023 14:31:08 GMT
www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2023/07/01/1184749528/men-are-hunters-women-are-gatherers-that-was-the-assumption-a-new-study-upends-i“79% of the societies for which there is data, women were hunting. Moreover, says Wall-Scheffler, this wasn't just opportunistic killing of animals that the women happened upon. The vast majority of the time, she says, "the hunting was purposeful. Women had their own toolkit. They had favorite weapons. Grandmas were the best hunters of the village." In other words, "the majority of cultures for whom hunting is important train their girls and their women to make their tools and go hunting," she says. “The new study found that in a third of societies for which there is data, the women hunt large game. In other words, they do go after the kind of big mammals associated with the stereotype of male hunters.”
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Post by anne12 on Jan 19, 2024 18:58:30 GMT
www.sueno.co.uk/blogs/bed-blog/women-require-more-sleep-than-menAccording to new research from a Loughborough University study, women require more sleep than men. While people aged between 18 and 65 need eight to ten hours of sleep a night, studies show that women need on average, more sleep than men. There are lots of reasons for this, which we’ll discuss in more detail later on. This article will talk about the main reasons that women need more sleep than men. And will also suggest ways that quality of sleep can be easily improved. Getting a better night’s sleep is much easier than you would think. To start off with, we’ll look at why women need more sleep. Then, we will follow up with how achieving a better quantity and quality of sleep is doable. When it comes to your sleep habits, it’s not just about quantity but also quality of sleep. Why do women need more sleep than men? Up until recently, researchers believed that age was the main factor determining how much sleep we need. However, a study from Loughborough University found that on average, women need at least 20 minutes of extra sleep than men. That being said, each woman is different, so some may require more or less extra sleep than that. Of course, age is also a factor when it comes to how much sleep we need. But on average, women need a little extra time to doze than men do. 20 minutes may not seem like a lot, but when you add it up over the course of a week, that’s an hour and 20 minutes of extra sleep women need compared to men. Over the space of a month, that’s over five hours extra sleep women are getting if they have that extra 20 minutes. The question is, why do women need extra snoozing time? According to the sleep study, which compared a group of 210 middle-aged men and women, women’s brains are wired differently. That is why women tend to need more sleep than men. This is because when we sleep, our brains recover and repair themselves. The amount of sleep needed is determined by how hard the brain works during the day. It’s no secret that women and men are from different planets, but who would've thought our brains would be wired differently? Another part of the study suggested that what causes women’s brains to work harder is the fact that they multi-task. Most men stick to doing one thing at a time, whereas women are more likely to deal with two or three different tasks at once. This means that their brains work harder, and so, need more time to repair and recover. That’s why when it comes to sleep, women require at least an extra 20 minutes of rest so that their brains can recover properly. Professor Horne, head of the Loughborough University sleep study, has made one exception to the rule. That’s that men who work in a job that is complex and includes a lot of decision making may also need an extra 20 minutes of sleep. This is purely because their brains are working extremely hard, dealing with various tasks and decisions. However, in most cases, women tend to need more sleep than men. As part of the study, it was also noted that the need for more sleep affects people with two X chromosomes - the reason for this is unknown. Another reason women need more sleep than men is because a lack of sleep makes them more prone to mental health problems. For women, a lack of sleep is associated with feelings of depression and anxiety, as well as various mental health conditions. However, this isn’t the case for men, a lack of sleep has very little impact on them. This research directly links to a study done at Duke University in South Carolina. The study found that women suffer more than men physically and mentally when they don’t get enough sleep. When it comes to dealing with stress and mental health problems, there’s a clear link between sleep and these problems. Women who don’t get their full 8-10 hours a night are more prone to suffering from these conditions. Whereas, a lack of sleep in men seems to have to correlation to these problems and conditions. How can women achieve more sleep? In terms of how women can achieve more sleep, it’s rather simple. When it comes to getting a good night’s sleep, it’s not just about quantity but also quality. A woman who sleeps for eight hours but is woken up in the night will feel the same as women who got four hours of sleep. It’s not just about quantity of sleep but also quality. For a good night’s sleep, having a comfortable mattress is one of the most important things. Studies have shown that one of the most important factors for getting a good night sleep is where you sleep. One of the most common reasons for low-quality sleep is sleeping on an old mattress. If you're not comfortable, getting a good night's sleep is close to impossible. Another factor that affects the quality of sleep you achieve is your environment. If you want to get a good quality night’s sleep, the environment you sleep in needs to be just right. This means that it can’t be too hot or too cold where you sleep, nor too stuffy. It also means that the level of light must be just right. If there is light shining into the room, this can make getting a good night’s sleep almost impossible. The Loughborough University study has shown firstly, that women need more sleep than men and also why this is. Until recently it was thought age was the main factor when it comes to how much sleep you need but that’s not the case. Because of how women's brain’s work, in most cases they need more sleep than men.
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Post by anne12 on Mar 31, 2024 11:39:36 GMT
www.amazon.com/Different-Voice-Psychological-Theory-Development/dp/0674970969This is the little book that started a revolution. Published over thirty years ago, in twenty-one languages, In a Different Voice made women s voices heard for the first time in social scientific theorizing. Carol Gilligan s work and words inspired new research and stirred political debate that continues, unstifled, in our own time.This is the little book that started a revolution. Published over thirty years ago, in twenty-one languages, In a Different Voice made women s voices heard for the first time in social scientific theorizing. Carol Gilligan s work and words inspired new research and stirred political debate that continues, unstifled, in our own time. What is Carol Gilligan theory? In that work, Gilligan argued that girls exhibit distinct patterns of moral development based on relationships and on feelings of care and responsibility for others. Her work soon inspired and informed a feminist-oriented movement in philosophical ethics known as the ethics of care www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10108041/Carol Gilligan's awareness of voice began at a young age with a self‐defining memory in which she learned to hold on to her own voice and experience. She never set out to be a social change agent, but she became one. Other scholars relied on her work, particularly the lyrical trope of “in a different voice” to change social (and psychological) attitudes toward women in many ways. This psychobiographical analysis traces Carol's personal struggles to sustain her own voice and knowledge, and these struggles met a culture that became able to hear something about how the patriarchal culture suppresses relational sensibilities. Rooted in a close and intense relationship with her mother, who expressed and imposed on her a duality between the voice of personal experience and the voice of meeting social expectations. Carol's understanding of the differing levels of what it means “to know” grounded a new conception of girls' development as well as of moral development. Conclusion Carol Gilligan became an agent of social change because her inner world and life path coincided with sociocultural readiness to embrace her work as giving voice to an emerging awareness of the suppression and denigration of women's sensibilities in psychology as well as in the larger culture. Her lifelong conflicts about speaking her own truth versus conforming to a society in which she was well able to be successful attuned her to the ways in which others, particularly women, similarly discounted their own experience.
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Post by anne12 on Apr 30, 2024 10:50:46 GMT
Smoke sauna sisterhood www.smokesaunasisterhood.com/smoke-sauna-sisterhoodIn the darkness of a smoke sauna, women share their innermost secrets and intimate experiences, washing off the shame trapped in their bodies and regaining their strength through a sense of communion. Women share their innermost secrets and intimate experiences inside an Estonian smoke sauna. Cleansing their bodies and baring their souls, they embrace the healing power of sisterhood. Anna Hints' Sundance-winning documentary celebrates the centuries-old smoke sauna tradition, recognized on the UNESCO Representative List of the Intangible Cultural Heritage of Humanity. the film is an experiment, and the point is to get away from the society-created, 'patriarchal' templates and back to the (female) body. Interview: youtu.be/d6yUpzGTBpo?si=5U-eCNzG_QGnuN0X
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Post by anne12 on Jun 7, 2024 16:15:32 GMT
www.nytimes.com/2023/03/07/science/female-mice-hormones.htmlFor decades, male mice have been the default in scientific experiments that test new drugs or examine the connections of the brain. The reason? Female mice, which experience a four- to five-day cycle of fluctuating ovarian hormones, were thought to be too complicated. Accounting for the hormonal changes was viewed as too cumbersome and too expensive. But the estrous cycle has little to do with how female mice behave, according to a new study that used machine-learning software to track the second-to-second behavior of animals exploring an open space. Male mice actually exhibited more erratic behavior than females did. The study, published in the journal Current Biology on Tuesday, challenges century-old stereotypes that kept female animals out of laboratory research — and, until the 1990s, barred women from clinical trials. The new research is “tipping all of these assumptions about sex differences and the influence of hormones on their head,” said Rebecca Shansky, a behavioral neuroscientist at Northeastern University and a co-author of the new study.
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