What are your safe spaces?

Hi tnr9,
My entire living room is such a space. Before I learned of HSP I instinctively created a sanctuary for myself with comfy recliners, beautiful lighting (Turkish globe lamps, other ambient lighting) sheers on the sunny window to diffuse light and warm the room, and lots of plants. All the textures are comforting... a soft beautiful rug, soft blankets, satin pillows, and a weighted blanket too. It's very quiet and peaceful, no television or audio... just a beautiful space that I used to spend a LOT of time in.

Since I met my boyfriend I am here much less but it's the space I crave, and love to return to when I've had enough stimulation, need to process something, or just need solitude and rest. It's the dominant space in my home so it creates a lifestyle of nurturing comfort for me at home.

My safe places.....

The martial arts gym, the weight room, the boat, the wilderness.

I cannot consider my 'comfy places' as safe. Though yours sound very accomodating.
I like the idea of plants, cats and recliners ☺

I dont think I was necesarily referring to geographical location. Though your abode sounds lovely (I'm a passionate gardener so the plants are very appealing!).

I was more so referring to safe places, for me, being ones where I'm kept so occupied I dont have to be left alone with my mind.

I fear my bed for example, even though It's cozy, clean and comfortable. Because unless absolutely exhausted, bedtime is where I have to face my own thoughts.

When I'm wrestling, lifting weights, racing the boat or doing something intensely creative (or distracting), I am just present. My mind quietens and lines up to solve the problems at hand.

The million thoughts all desperately clamouring for attention suddenly silence. It's peaceful.....Though I won't argue its not just avoidance. And therefore not the healthiest strategy.

tnr9 are you aware of your hormones ect. and the difficulties that can show up through the 15 years transition time from pre meno pause to post meno pause ?

Yeah I feel you. Im lucky if I go to sleep before 3am, even when I have to be up for work at 7 or 8am.

Though I'd be surprised if the cause for me was menopause lol. I wouldnt be so surprised if cortisol was significantly involved for both of us though.

I'm told by my parents I rarely slept as a baby, I know yours described you as colicky.

These days it has more to do with rumination, and an inability to cope with difficult thoughts, fears and memories. My mind constantly races at a billion miles per hour when I go to bed. I understand the 'Monkey mind' is common to everyone though.

Do you have any OCD tendancies tnr9?

I have also been exploring mindfulness in recent months as a possible relaxation tool. Though as mentioned earlier in the thread, martial arts have been by far the best vector to impliment this for me.

Traditional meditation makes me feel angry, and sometimes leaves me more agitated than before.

Yes, probably not menopause. Ha. Have you tried Thai Chi? I've done that before and enjoyed it. It's very mindful, with movement and martial based so was satisfying for the anger I had at the time. Kind of a controlled lethal force if you will. I was in a horrible situation at home and had a lot going on.

krolle, I don't think that I feel different levels of HSP sensitivity correlated to how occupied I am. My main hobby involves acute mental focus and physical coordination, and I do terribly trying to engage in public with it without blocking sensory input via custom earplugs and carefully selected clothing choices (I feel like such a weenie still when I describe the steps I have to take to be comfortable in public spaces but I can laugh and give myself a mental hug all the same hahaha).

My favorite way to engage in this competitive hobby is alone and in silence, 100 percent occupied and engaged. For hours. I can only handle a couple hours in public with sensory insulation before I'm D.O.N.E.

I also compete well, but feel a bit overwhelmed by the end of a match and need to get home to a quiet place and veg in order to feel relaxed and get over a feeling of overwhelm even if I won the match. So it's not win/lose emotions related either.

I recently took up archery and again, It takes a lot of focus and I LOVE the silence and tranquility of the indoor range nearby where even in the presence of other archers, I felt great simply because it was so quiet and non-overwhelming. My boyfriend got me a bow and loves to shoot so it's going to be a great compliment to our other couple activities that involve a lot more sensory input (like sailing, about to come into play but seriously the wind and cold temps can get to me, obviously). When the weather becomes balmy I look forward to outdoor local ranges where the natural scenery is splendid. Kind of an HSP dream right?

I like to strength train but need ear plugs to do it in public. Vegging out at home, I also prefer silence and low sensory stimulation.

I am sensitive HSP-wise all the time, alone or not, occupied or just chillin doing nothing. Glad to know that because being unable to manage that made me more avoidant in my life prior to learning about it. Sorry for the little tangent...



When I'm just chilling being still I don't feel squirmy at all. I don't have any discomfort with it.