FA overly critical about me?

I agree with anne12 that Jayson Gaddis could be helpful, though only if your bf is open to helping himself. He has a lot of free podcasts and videos, was FA but pursued an education in psychology and earned secure. I actually learned a lot from him when I was researching these topics but still had no idea what answers I was looking for, and even though he targets helping men.

If your bf says he's happy with everything but you, something is very wrong. Because that sounds like he's not, but he's compartmentalizing and projecting everything negative onto you. Continuing to analyze him isn't too helpful if he's laying down a line of not wanting to introspect and put in the team relationship effort, but my looking at his role here is to help you try to depersonalize what's going on and break it out into issues on both sides. Though it sounds like, because you are working on yourself, that you're doing that in a healthy way but doubting yourself because of how he's being towards you.

No need to be sorry about my FA ex. It was terrible to go through at the time but I learned a lot and now I'm engaged to someone who is a much better match for me! And introvert is right, effectively, I outgrew him as I was trying hard to earn secure, which was really the best thing for me and for both of us, in a way.

I really hope he starts reading and learning more about attachment. It would help so much. He always reads what I give him but he's very defensive right now.

Very insightful, thank you. I am trying hard to understand his feedback while maintaining a healthy and good self-image. It is a bit hard but I am feeling positive today about myself.

I am glad you were able to find a better match😁

That's great if you can see each other's point of view and move forward without the toxicity! Have you been able to come up with a boundary around his angry, blaming behavior? I ask because it's inappropriate and even if you both are trying to go forward with relationship enhancing activities, if he refuses responsibility and to take action on that then it could be repeated.  That's something he will need to get a handle on if he wants to make his partner happy as well as himself. 

This is so fantastic! Being able to make strong boundaries for the health of yourself and a relationship you want to preserve is a huge milestone. It can be so confusing figuring out where we need a boundary, but once you know what you need to be healthy and secure in yourself, it becomes a no-brainer to expect respect for yourself... both from yourself and from others. Great job!