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Post by iz42 on Dec 4, 2022 4:02:05 GMT
Let me put it this way. If I'm stressed, my ability to interact intimately is hampered. It doesn't mean I want to be alone,it just means I'm not good at creating the energy. That's when I need him to carry the show. He does that by just being his loving fun self. This is interesting. I've felt this way before with people I've dated who had big personalities -- they created the energy and I could kind of go along for the ride. There was something comforting about that. The problem was that it was a permanent dynamic (not just once in a while) that let me hide and avoid learning how to express myself. I can see how occasionally it would be helpful though. I'm not the most naturally gregarious person so it might be hard for me to learn how to do this for my current partner. Going to give it some thought! |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 4, 2022 4:16:07 GMT
Let me put it this way. If I'm stressed, my ability to interact intimately is hampered. It doesn't mean I want to be alone,it just means I'm not good at creating the energy. That's when I need him to carry the show. He does that by just being his loving fun self. This is interesting. I've felt this way before with people I've dated who had big personalities -- they created the energy and I could kind of go along for the ride. There was something comforting about that. The problem was that it was a permanent dynamic (not just once in a while) that let me hide and avoid learning how to express myself. I can see how occasionally it would be helpful though. I'm not the most naturally gregarious person so it might be hard for me to learn how to do this for my current partner. Going to give it some thought! We are naturally very playful together, he doesn't feel intimidated by a quiet or withdrawn mood. Even without being gregarious, just being your normal self, with presence when he's withdrawn might be helpful. What I mean by energy is the energy of connection. It doesn't need to be any particular kind like upbeat or whatever. Just unwavering normal, whatever normal is for you two. You know what I mean? |
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