Does avoidant attachment successfully lessen pain?

I've only posted your conclusion here notalone but I think all the points you make are excellent.

I completely agree that the responses of APs are not a choice, and changing the responses to triggers is the only way to lessen the pain, and therefore the suffering. 

I don't think these responses can change just by people telling an AP to work on themselves (though awareness is obviously the first step). Maybe it's because that often leads to APs trying to intellectualise why they do what they do. I believe that is actually one of the main reasons APs ruminate so much - they're trying to intellectualise something that can't be solved by thinking. For unaware DAs i imagine it's the opposite - they don't ruminate, but instead trap the pain before it becomes too conscious. Both feel pain, both are unhealthy ways of releasing it (or not).

Like you, i believe getting to the root of the trauma and repairing it is the only real way to prevent suffering (or at least decrease it). I'm currently undertaking Somatic Experiencing therapy which uses a bottom up (body before cognition) approach and it's incredible what insights come up simply by recognising the bodily responses to perceived threats. The premise here is that the body is the first to react to the situation that triggers trauma, and the mind is then interpreting this response and building a story from it, then the emotional release occurs. So recognising the bodily responses allows us to intercept them before the mind builds that story. It happens in a split second though, which is why therapy is usually needed to help slow down and re-wire the response

What it has helped me conclude is that i can't control the responses (body) at the moment, and probably won't be able to for a while. Like notalone said, working on changing attachment style is hard work and it brings up a lot of emotion and pain.

However, I personally think there's another approach that can help deal with the mind (top down) until one has properly worked on the trauma. Avoiding triggers and being really honest about what those triggers are. This is where i DO think APs choose to suffer.

When we check our exes social media, when we spend hours ruminating over what certain texts mean or don't mean, when we calculate how long since they've been online and build a story about why, when we talk to our exes to get that hit of dopamine and then feel awful later and replay the conversation in our minds. These ARE choices that are causing suffering because they aren't being made from the place of the trauma (though I acknowledge they are being made by the part of us that experienced the trauma), they are being decided upon and causing a reaction in the body and then the mind. The trauma itself can't make you interact with someone or check their social media. I used to believe that the best time to work on one's triggers is when we are triggered, but I'm revising my position on this. Unless you are prepared to simply accept what is (which is also a cognitive choice and can be cultivated through mindfulness, yoga etc) then you are putting yourself in situations where the trauma will be re-lived and you will build a story from it and then you will suffer. Buddhists believe that all suffering occurs in the mind.

I'm not saying that acknowledging how triggers make us feel can't help us become more aware of ourselves, but if you're not also working on the trauma itself (and NOT by just analysing it), I'm not sure putting oneself in triggering situations will do anything but increase suffering. Just an idea I've been thinking about - feel free to rip it to shreds  

notalone , it's great your therapist is working on you with recognizing how emotions come up in your body.

do you currently know what your emotions are, without knowing how they feel in your body? i am asking because my experience as an (formerly deeply dismissive) avoidant seems to be opposite, i historically have known my body sensations far ahead of understanding what feelings are manifesting.

it took a dedicated process to know what my body was telling me, beyond an instinctive level of fight/flight/freeze.

after a lot of paying attention and taking care of my feelings, really treating them as important and tending to them with compassion , i see that my body heart andbmind are much more integrated, and not keeping secrets from each other.

i am curious to understand how this goes for you, do you consciously know you are sad before your body tells you?
do you know you are angry, afraid, etc?
i am conscious and aware of my feelings as they arise , for the most part, now- but for decades i felt something in my body and couldn't separate and identify what exactly it was- it was very blurry.