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Post by krolle on Sept 18, 2021 15:58:09 GMT
tnr9 I just remembered you are active on said other thread discussing the inner child lol. So feel free to adress my question on here or ignore it in favour of the other one. My bad.
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Post by tnr9 on Sept 18, 2021 18:02:41 GMT
Thanks Annie…after B broke up with me I started to have these really mixed feelings…I desired and feared him….fear was new…but when you mentioned above about contacting him…fear came streaming in…or more so…distrust. And it isn’t an adult feeling of distrust..it is a little girl who has been burned by her parents. B more then any other guy I ever dated, provided access to very deep, very old feelings…but I just did not have the proper tools to work with them. There was this one time I went to the beach with the group to spend time with friends and he showed up. I literally spent the whole day avoiding him. So it has been “complicated”….I miss the feeling of safety, the protection he offered, his hugs were just the best and to me he was so attractive….but then…trust was broken, he did not protect me at all during the breakup, hugs became mixed signals. My moment of fear is gone. I know the answer anyways…at least regarding me. He was lonely…..I was a cuddle buddy initially who he thought he could show love towards and help with my self esteem…but then…he says…he grew to love me…..however, God told him that if he wasn’t going to be with me forever to stop leading me on…so that is when he broke up with me…at his sisters house…in the middle of the night…drunk…and while I was still processing what had happened…he had sex with me from behind. Then it was early morning and he went upstairs to play with his nephews while I remained downstairs in the basement trying to pull myself together. Then I had to act like all was ok while watching tv with his sister and her husband. I know I just sidestepped your suggestion…but felt I needed to get this out. , I am so sorry that this happened like this. I can't imagine how painful that was, how utterly shocking. I'm glad you have made progress moving on from such a painful involvement with that man. It was soooo painful….I felt trapped with nowhere to go. This was the first time we were visiting his sister and I met up with him and he drove us to her house. My step father called B a coward for breaking up with me there. Looking back…I should have left right afterwards…should have to,d him to have his sister drive him back. I own the fact that I stayed…I own that I said nothing to stop him for having sex with me from behind…we never had sex during the relationship….we had errors in judgement but were always careful to not go all the way. I felt like a “thing” in that moment….not a woman. He kept apologizing, said he loved me but that we were on different frequencies. He never did handle conflict well. On the drive back he made a comment that perhaps he had just made the worst mistake of his life…and I held onto that as hope. Which is why I tried The Who.e friend thing…because I wanted him back. 🙁 |
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Post by tnr9 on Sept 18, 2021 18:12:13 GMT
Thanks Annie…after B broke up with me I started to have these really mixed feelings…I desired and feared him….fear was new…but when you mentioned above about contacting him…fear came streaming in…or more so…distrust. And it isn’t an adult feeling of distrust..it is a little girl who has been burned by her parents. B more then any other guy I ever dated, provided access to very deep, very old feelings…but I just did not have the proper tools to work with them. There was this one time I went to the beach with the group to spend time with friends and he showed up. I literally spent the whole day avoiding him. So it has been “complicated”….I miss the feeling of safety, the protection he offered, his hugs were just the best and to me he was so attractive….but then…trust was broken, he did not protect me at all during the breakup, hugs became mixed signals. My moment of fear is gone. I know the answer anyways…at least regarding me. He was lonely…..I was a cuddle buddy initially who he thought he could show love towards and help with my self esteem…but then…he says…he grew to love me…..however, God told him that if he wasn’t going to be with me forever to stop leading me on…so that is when he broke up with me…at his sisters house…in the middle of the night…drunk…and while I was still processing what had happened…he had sex with me from behind. Then it was early morning and he went upstairs to play with his nephews while I remained downstairs in the basement trying to pull myself together. Then I had to act like all was ok while watching tv with his sister and her husband. I know I just sidestepped your suggestion…but felt I needed to get this out. I feel fear and desire too. It's interesting that those two things would go together. Do you think you can introspect where the fear comes from? And perhaps the desire, beyond him being good at hugs? How do you tell if it's adult fear or a child or a little girls fear? What's the difference? what does this mean? we are discussing it on another thread and I have no concept of it and wish to know your opinion. annieb Thankyou for the insights into your situation and how you got over them. When you say "he liked you for what you can do for him" helped you get over him. I get confused. Because I view and have accepted (perhaps Naively) all relationships as ultimately transactional, this would not be a turnoff for me. Just basically what I expect as the norm. I can't imagine a relationship that is not based on at least some transaction. It's just that some are more socially acceptable transactions than others in my opinion. tnr9 I'm not gonna touch the "god told him to stop leading you on" thing with a barge pole. Religion is well out of my juristiction. I wanted to give you some condescending speech about holding your boundaries regarding the fact you guys had sex after breaking up. But I know its not that easy. I'm sure there was a cocktail of powerful emotions going on inside you which would have been hard to work out. I have done many shameful things after break ups before. Just know that I feel compassion for you and I share/ have been through a lot of the pain you are experiencing The fear comes from my parent’s divorce. It was a horrible time….our dad would not pick us up from the house, would not call our mom by her name…we (my brothers and I) were pawns to him and he spoke horribly about our mom all the time. Then there was the custody battle for me…I remember being asked which parent I wanted to live with and I could not choose. My dad won custody and did not want me. My mom was overwhelmed being a now single mom…so I became the black sleep, the one who received all the negative energy while y brother became her sounding board. The reason I know it isn’t adult is I can feel myself “shift”….in my adult state I have reason, I have boundaries…in my child state I have only fear and no tools, no logic, no healthy boundaries…everything becomes instinctual and panic sets in. Does that help? Also…my step father doubted that B heard from God…that God would only tell B and not also tell me….he thinks it was B’s fear and conscious. |
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Post by annieb on Sept 18, 2021 21:05:33 GMT
So B means something to you (probably not what or who he is), but it’s the meaning you’ve assigned to him. Probably not the best advice for maintaining dignity, but that has worked for me, when I’ve asked questions, I’ve gotten answers. When it came to objects of my limerence. Sometimes their answers dispelled it and sometimes I observed silently from the side lines and 100% of the time my opinion of them changed and they slowly left the pedestal they were on. Time healed all wounds for me and I saw it all clearly (that we are not compatible and I actually don’t like them).. It would be like a lightbulb moment that one of the answers would bring me clarity and I would no longer want to pursue/ be turned off. For example a turning point for the person I came to these boards on; I remember him saying he will always like me for the rest of his life. And that was a lightbulb moment insofar that the way he treated me there was no way he liked me. Or if he did like me and still did the hot and cold stuff, there was probably something wrong with him. But the translation was he liked what I can do for him for the rest of his life. I then maybe a year or so later went on his Twitter and saw him posting about brands and getting freebee replacements or comps from companies. Basically complaining publicly about a brand and then getting comps from them. I thought of that behavior as ridiculous and manipulative and a total turnoff. I don’t think I could ever think or feel about him the same way. I absolutely have zero feelings for this man while four years ago I definitely had feelings for him, but I didn’t have enough information. As I gain information my feelings absolutely change. I actually encourage you to speak to him and inquire about his relationship and what has changed in him that he was able to make that commitment to this person. I’m curious if his answers can provide some clarity for you. I know this is a risk and we are supposed to work through this on our own, but I’m sharing what has helped me, and I’m definitely not a therapist. My therapist would encourage you to stay on your narrow path, tend to your self esteem and if you see him on the street, cross to the other side 🤓 Thanks Annie…after B broke up with me I started to have these really mixed feelings…I desired and feared him….fear was new…but when you mentioned above about contacting him…fear came streaming in…or more so…distrust. And it isn’t an adult feeling of distrust..it is a little girl who has been burned by her parents. B more then any other guy I ever dated, provided access to very deep, very old feelings…but I just did not have the proper tools to work with them. There was this one time I went to the beach with the group to spend time with friends and he showed up. I literally spent the whole day avoiding him. So it has been “complicated”….I miss the feeling of safety, the protection he offered, his hugs were just the best and to me he was so attractive….but then…trust was broken, he did not protect me at all during the breakup, hugs became mixed signals. My moment of fear is gone. I know the answer anyways…at least regarding me. He was lonely…..I was a cuddle buddy initially who he thought he could show love towards and help with my self esteem…but then…he says…he grew to love me…..however, God told him that if he wasn’t going to be with me forever to stop leading me on…so that is when he broke up with me…at his sisters house…in the middle of the night…drunk…and while I was still processing what had happened…he had sex with me from behind. Then it was early morning and he went upstairs to play with his nephews while I remained downstairs in the basement trying to pull myself together. Then I had to act like all was ok while watching tv with his sister and her husband. I know I just sidestepped your suggestion…but felt I needed to get this out. I think we have the answers right there. Apart from me wanting to have a few words with this winner. He disrespected you to say the least. He took advantage of your fear of abandonment, your blurry boundaries, and your feelings for him. Only a true coward and a loser would do that. Not a person of integrity. Not a person of value. That is abusive. And as a healthy person we stay away from people like that. We recognize deep down they remind us of someone who hurt us in the past. And we steer clear. We only ever got involved with people like this when we were trying subconsciously to reverse the wrongs of our past abuser - caregiver. That if we gain this person’s approval we will have fixed our father’s lack of approval and this reverse engineer our self love. In the most ridiculous way. 0% effective. Thanks for sharing this, as staying away from this person will be best. Scratch my earliest suggestion of reaching out. The only person you need to reach out is yourself, and your friends and allies. Perhaps this is home stretch for you, where you finally come out the other end of your self esteem and confidence. Everything you’ve done the last few years in therapy and on your own is the care and love that your primary care giver failed to give and what you tried to get from B because he resembled those people. We don’t do that here at least not anymore. We are able to get self validation from ourselves even though our parents failed us. That’s what we’ve worked so hard for. And if we need a hug we get it from a friend we trust. And if we want more we spend the time to get to know a person and make sure that they are the person that doesn’t cause any primal fear in us first and foremost. You never trusted this man for a very good reason. Trust your gut from this point forward. |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 18, 2021 21:39:03 GMT
Thanks Annie…after B broke up with me I started to have these really mixed feelings…I desired and feared him….fear was new…but when you mentioned above about contacting him…fear came streaming in…or more so…distrust. And it isn’t an adult feeling of distrust..it is a little girl who has been burned by her parents. B more then any other guy I ever dated, provided access to very deep, very old feelings…but I just did not have the proper tools to work with them. There was this one time I went to the beach with the group to spend time with friends and he showed up. I literally spent the whole day avoiding him. So it has been “complicated”….I miss the feeling of safety, the protection he offered, his hugs were just the best and to me he was so attractive….but then…trust was broken, he did not protect me at all during the breakup, hugs became mixed signals. My moment of fear is gone. I know the answer anyways…at least regarding me. He was lonely…..I was a cuddle buddy initially who he thought he could show love towards and help with my self esteem…but then…he says…he grew to love me…..however, God told him that if he wasn’t going to be with me forever to stop leading me on…so that is when he broke up with me…at his sisters house…in the middle of the night…drunk…and while I was still processing what had happened…he had sex with me from behind. Then it was early morning and he went upstairs to play with his nephews while I remained downstairs in the basement trying to pull myself together. Then I had to act like all was ok while watching tv with his sister and her husband. I know I just sidestepped your suggestion…but felt I needed to get this out. I think we have the answers right there. Apart from me wanting to have a few words with this winner. He disrespected you to say the least. He took advantage of your fear of abandonment, your blurry boundaries, and your feelings for him. Only a true coward and a loser would do that. Not a person of integrity. Not a person of value. That is abusive. And as a healthy person we stay away from people like that. We recognize deep down they remind us of someone who hurt us in the past. And we steer clear. We only ever got involved with people like this when we were trying subconsciously to reverse the wrongs of our past abuser - caregiver. That if we gain this person’s approval we will have fixed our father’s lack of approval and this reverse engineer our self love. In the most ridiculous way. 0% effective. Thanks for sharing this, as staying away from this person will be best. Scratch my earliest suggestion of reaching out. The only person you need to reach out is yourself, and your friends and allies. Perhaps this is home stretch for you, where you finally come out the other end of your self esteem and confidence. Everything you’ve done the last few years in therapy and on your own is the care and love that your primary care giver failed to give and what you tried to get from B because he resembled those people. We don’t do that here at least not anymore. We are able to get self validation from ourselves even though our parents failed us. That’s what we’ve worked so hard for. And if we need a hug we get it from a friend we trust. And if we want more we spend the time to get to know a person and make sure that they are the person that doesn’t cause any primal fear in us first and foremost. You never trusted this man for a very good reason. Trust your gut from this point forward. 💯 |
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Post by tnr9 on Sept 19, 2021 1:08:22 GMT
Thanks Annie…after B broke up with me I started to have these really mixed feelings…I desired and feared him….fear was new…but when you mentioned above about contacting him…fear came streaming in…or more so…distrust. And it isn’t an adult feeling of distrust..it is a little girl who has been burned by her parents. B more then any other guy I ever dated, provided access to very deep, very old feelings…but I just did not have the proper tools to work with them. There was this one time I went to the beach with the group to spend time with friends and he showed up. I literally spent the whole day avoiding him. So it has been “complicated”….I miss the feeling of safety, the protection he offered, his hugs were just the best and to me he was so attractive….but then…trust was broken, he did not protect me at all during the breakup, hugs became mixed signals. My moment of fear is gone. I know the answer anyways…at least regarding me. He was lonely…..I was a cuddle buddy initially who he thought he could show love towards and help with my self esteem…but then…he says…he grew to love me…..however, God told him that if he wasn’t going to be with me forever to stop leading me on…so that is when he broke up with me…at his sisters house…in the middle of the night…drunk…and while I was still processing what had happened…he had sex with me from behind. Then it was early morning and he went upstairs to play with his nephews while I remained downstairs in the basement trying to pull myself together. Then I had to act like all was ok while watching tv with his sister and her husband. I know I just sidestepped your suggestion…but felt I needed to get this out. I think we have the answers right there. Apart from me wanting to have a few words with this winner. He disrespected you to say the least. He took advantage of your fear of abandonment, your blurry boundaries, and your feelings for him. Only a true coward and a loser would do that. Not a person of integrity. Not a person of value. That is abusive. And as a healthy person we stay away from people like that. We recognize deep down they remind us of someone who hurt us in the past. And we steer clear. We only ever got involved with people like this when we were trying subconsciously to reverse the wrongs of our past abuser - caregiver. That if we gain this person’s approval we will have fixed our father’s lack of approval and this reverse engineer our self love. In the most ridiculous way. 0% effective. Thanks for sharing this, as staying away from this person will be best. Scratch my earliest suggestion of reaching out. The only person you need to reach out is yourself, and your friends and allies. Perhaps this is home stretch for you, where you finally come out the other end of your self esteem and confidence. Everything you’ve done the last few years in therapy and on your own is the care and love that your primary care giver failed to give and what you tried to get from B because he resembled those people. We don’t do that here at least not anymore. We are able to get self validation from ourselves even though our parents failed us. That’s what we’ve worked so hard for. And if we need a hug we get it from a friend we trust. And if we want more we spend the time to get to know a person and make sure that they are the person that doesn’t cause any primal fear in us first and foremost. You never trusted this man for a very good reason. Trust your gut from this point forward. Thanks annieb and @introvert ….there is definitely a shift happening. I remember when I first was on these boards and anyone would suggest that B wasn’t a stand up guy…I would defend him and put the blame solely on me. I was enmeshed with B the way I was with my parents where I was the bad one and they were the good ones. I finally can take in that what B did was not ok….even if he never meant to hurt me…he did. |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 19, 2021 14:46:02 GMT
Whatever his intentions tnr9, he was very careless and unskillful in how he treated you. Most importantly, you recognize the insufficiency of your own boundaries and the limits of your understanding at the time, of what real care and respect look like. Someone who doesn't care for and respect themselves is simply incapable of delivering or receiving care and respect, and situations like this illustrate that so well on both sides. I've experienced the pain and chaos resulting from a lack of healthy development, both in partners and myself . I'm really glad that you are experiencing evolution in yourself, away from such entanglements and toward a secure relationship in the future. It sounds like you are really taking good care of yourself. |
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Post by tnr9 on Sept 19, 2021 17:22:22 GMT
Whatever his intentions tnr9 , he was very careless and unskillful in how he treated you. Most importantly, you recognize the insufficiency of your own boundaries and the limits of your understanding at the time, of what real care and respect look like. Someone who doesn't care for and respect themselves is simply incapable of delivering or receiving care and respect, and situations like this illustrate that so well on both sides. I've experienced the pain and chaos resulting from a lack of healthy development, both in partners and myself . I'm really glad that you are experiencing evolution in yourself, away from such entanglements and toward a secure relationship in the future. It sounds like you are really taking good care of yourself. The last few days I haven’t slept well…and I think it is because I am processing this relationship from a new vantage point….one where B was not the knight I lost….but the complicated man he is. And I doubt highly I would have been able to make this shift without therapy or without the shift in my relationship with my mom (and by proxy…my dad). I needed to feel, to know where I end on they begin…I needed to detangle my responsibilities from theirs…I needed to see all of my mom…all of my dad…and all of B. I hold no ill will towards him…..he had his own horrible trauma, his own maladaptive thoughts and behaviors….falling so hard for him when I did not know him should have been a warning flag…but there were so many I missed. I finally deleted his texts….that was rather big…..because I used to cling to all the words that implied I was the most caring woman he had been with, that the fact that he was in the group was largely because of how welcoming I was, how special I was to him etc. etc. Those were north stars…and I charted my path based on them….so letting them go was both scary and relieving. I do want to say some quick words about my therapy journey……I had a really nice and caring therapist in my early 20’s who stayed my therapist for several years. She tried a lot of tactics to get me to see my parents for who they were and my boyfriends for who they were…..but I wasn’t ready….so I filled our therapy sessions with questions about keeping a guy or winning him back….because I was not ready to do the hard work. I say that because therapy to me is a combination of being in the right place to want to address the trauma and finding a therapist who can partner with you on that goal. |
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Post by annieb on Sept 20, 2021 0:52:49 GMT
annieb Thankyou for the insights into your situation and how you got over them. When you say "he liked you for what you can do for him" helped you get over him. I get confused.
Because I view and have accepted (perhaps Naively) all relationships as ultimately transactional, this would not be a turnoff for me. Just basically what I expect as the norm. I can't imagine a relationship that is not based on at least some transaction. It's just that some are more socially acceptable transactions than others in my opinion.
Ah, krolle, the transactional relationship. I knew that what he meant that I would simply do more than he would in that transaction and that he would expect that. And I would do that.
There could be some cultural differences the way I grew up vs America, perhaps. I didn’t grow up in a capitalist country, so friendships and relationships had at least a potential of being based on something else than a tangible value. And I think they did and do for me and I still have those friendships and they are the most beautiful gift. And that is one value I refuse to give up, as it’s given me more joy than any capital I ever acquired.
That is not to diss on transactional relationships as those too perhaps have their time and place and certainly a tangible value. Both are of worth is what I’m trying to say.
The last time I spoke to him, he reached out to me at the beginning of the pandemic. He said he had an idea for me to do a project for him (I overdelivered and undercharged him in my younger years for projects I did as a youngin designer would). The last text I ever sent to him was a dramatic: “Can I please have my dignity. Please?”. He never responded. And I finally had my peace.
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Post by tnr9 on Sept 20, 2021 3:29:50 GMT
annieb Thankyou for the insights into your situation and how you got over them. When you say "he liked you for what you can do for him" helped you get over him. I get confused. Because I view and have accepted (perhaps Naively) all relationships as ultimately transactional, this would not be a turnoff for me. Just basically what I expect as the norm. I can't imagine a relationship that is not based on at least some transaction. It's just that some are more socially acceptable transactions than others in my opinion. Ah, krolle, the transactional relationship. I knew that what he meant that I would simply do more than he would in that transaction and that he would expect that. And I would do that. There could be some cultural differences the way I grew up vs America, perhaps. I didn’t grow up in a capitalist country, so friendships and relationships had at least a potential of being based on something else than a tangible value. And I think they did and do for me and I still have those friendships and they are the most beautiful gift. And that is one value I refuse to give up, as it’s given me more joy than any capital I ever acquired. That is not to diss on transactional relationships as those too perhaps have their time and place and certainly a tangible value. Both are of worth is what I’m trying to say. The last time I spoke to him, he reached out to me at the beginning of the pandemic. He said he had an idea for me to do a project for him (I overdelivered and undercharged him in my younger years for projects I did as a youngin designer would). The last text I ever sent to him was a dramatic: “Can I please have my dignity. Please?”. He never responded. And I finally had my peace. For me, the difference is transactional…versus transformational….or doing thing for others because you believe they will do things in return…score keeping…..versus doing things because you love the other person and want to do it whether or not the other person does anything in return. Transactional relationship are about “me” versus transformational relationships are about “me”, “you” and “us”. |
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Post by krolle on Sept 20, 2021 5:31:58 GMT
annieb Thankyou for the insights into your situation and how you got over them. When you say "he liked you for what you can do for him" helped you get over him. I get confused. Because I view and have accepted (perhaps Naively) all relationships as ultimately transactional, this would not be a turnoff for me. Just basically what I expect as the norm. I can't imagine a relationship that is not based on at least some transaction. It's just that some are more socially acceptable transactions than others in my opinion. Ah, krolle, the transactional relationship. I knew that what he meant that I would simply do more than he would in that transaction and that he would expect that. And I would do that. There could be some cultural differences the way I grew up vs America, perhaps. I didn’t grow up in a capitalist country, so friendships and relationships had at least a potential of being based on something else than a tangible value. And I think they did and do for me and I still have those friendships and they are the most beautiful gift. And that is one value I refuse to give up, as it’s given me more joy than any capital I ever acquired. That is not to diss on transactional relationships as those too perhaps have their time and place and certainly a tangible value. Both are of worth is what I’m trying to say. The last time I spoke to him, he reached out to me at the beginning of the pandemic. He said he had an idea for me to do a project for him (I overdelivered and undercharged him in my younger years for projects I did as a youngin designer would). The last text I ever sent to him was a dramatic: “Can I please have my dignity. Please?”. He never responded. And I finally had my peace. I did not grow up in North America either Annieb. Nonetheless, in my opinion all or just about all my relationships I would consider transactional. Perhaps you misinterpreted my definition of transactional. I was not necessarily referencing the transaction of tangible capital. such as the exchange of money or property. More so regarding expectations. A transactional relationship to me for example would include a partner saying something like I'll look after the kids Tuesday for you so you can go out with friends. Would you mind doing the same for me on Thursday? But it can be more subtle than that. I had a discussion about this with a good friend who is very AP. And she was arguing that her marriage to her husband is not transactional in any way. I disagreed. I proposed that as an AP a big part of why she pressured her husband to get married was for the 'acquisition' of security. She wanted the added security the marriage would provide her against him abandoning her. And in trade she offered a lot of the usual things someone might want in a long term partner. companionship , sex, children etc. Their relationship is pretty successful so far and they certainly seem to love each other. I merely dislike the suggestion that romantic relationships can be anything but transactional. Really a transactional relationship could be worded in my opinion simply as compromise. I have heard of transformational relationships used as a term before but don't really understand the concept. The idea sounds way too Disney for my cynical mind to accept. Regarding your last text to him. What were you asking for him to do to give you the dignity required? just curious. Also I over deliver and under charge all the time. Feels pretty crappy lol. I empathize with you there Annie. |
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Post by krolle on Sept 20, 2021 5:34:28 GMT
Tied into these concepts are that I don't believe in unconditional love, and also believe that I must earn love through my actions. I fail to see the inherent value in people that is so often mentioned to me. This is a very FA thing I'm told.
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Post by annieb on Sept 20, 2021 11:13:53 GMT
krolle - in a very indirect and dramatic way I was asking him to stop contacting me. I was cutting my losses. Anything he would offer in my life will not be an equal exchange.
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Post by tnr9 on Sept 20, 2021 13:34:24 GMT
Tied into these concepts are that I don't believe in unconditional love, and also believe that I must earn love through my actions. I fail to see the inherent value in people that is so often mentioned to me. This is a very FA thing I'm told. Yep….this is how I found out I was FA. My faith is all about unconditional love and instead of being joyous…I was distrustful…because I have had no experience of a love that hasn’t been transactional in nature. I think culturally we are losing community and community is where we first experience transformational love…where there is a care for each other without any expectation of something in return. There is also a much larger “it’s all about me” viewpoint…..individual rights have become individual entitlements. I think COVID, isolation and a growing dependence on technology as a form of communication and status as part of the problem. As I have been working through my trauma…I am now hyper aware of relationships that are transactional…friends who only reach out when they need something…..but I am also more aware of friendships where it doesn’t feel that way at all….where we just have fun together and there is support for each other. I think there are a lot of people who say they are secure…but their behaviors are I still stuck in transactional relationships which to me is not secure….it is an unaware or an aware but in denial insecure person. |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 20, 2021 15:52:23 GMT
I try to do a little reading about relationships each day by googling a topic. I was clicking around on this site and read this article about our inner circle and who we let in, I thought it was excellent in so many ways. I also thought it was relevant to this thread so thought I would share in case it is helpful or resonates with anyone here. www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/circle-of-trust-discernment/ |
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