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Post by Deleted on Sept 3, 2021 23:50:56 GMT
As much as you both know I am a big fan of you ladies, and I do agree with most of what you said. I feel a pang of discomfort that the way you are talking about it is a little insensitive. I sense dysfunction, but no genuine malice in the OP. Perhaps it's just the people pleaser in me feeling uncomfortable. And I need to check myself. So take my opinion with a pinch of salt. I'm just sharing my feelings with you. Well, you're certainly very selective about who you call out for being insensitive, by the looks of this thread. Actually, upon the reading of many threads here. Do you fail to confront insensitivity in posters you are less familiar with, in avoidance of conflict? What I mean is you do seem to have a lot of people pleasing in your posts. You may sense insensitivity, but what I see is absurdity, even cruelty in the selfishness of OP's posts. Repeatedly going no contact, recognizing it causes fear in her, but it makes her so happy to reconnect... and then claiming he needs to do it again for himself, and for her. That doesn't mean I can't empathize with him- we are all insecure here and I literally have anguished but also eventually laughed till I cried (at myself) with my girlfriends, about the absurdity of my thinking and choices when unaware. It's sobering and it ought to be. It may sound harsh to point it out the way it has been here... but we are calling out some pretty harmful treatment. Additionally, it's very frequent that an anxious poster gets a ton of empathy, as they post with little empathy about their avoidant partner. He's gone so far as to insinuate a sense of superiority in her. His post bleeds superiority. So- it may be that some are offended or feel pangs like you do. Believe this: as a DA on this forum that's a constant for me. DA's get thrashed continuously, and I haven't seen you particularly or vocally offended by that. It's like a different standard. What I see, generally, and. not necessarily from you but as a general tone on the forum... is anyone who is anxious as AP or FA is deserving of more sensitivity than a DA-because we don't live as anxious insecure. It's the "us (anxious) against them (dismissive)" culture. You haven't said anything to OP here about his insensitivity in how he is treating this woman. If you did I missed it and I'll go back and try to find it. I find his writing/actions to be very insensitive. I definitely feel pangs. Anyway, we all have feelings and can agree to disagree. I am actually very ok with that. It's not possible to find complete agreement all the time, for sure. |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 4, 2021 1:49:53 GMT
The thread is titled AP/DA... so OP is presumed Anxious and his partner is presumed Dismissive, and as I see it the double standard finds its foundation there.
Things that OP (presumed anxious) have done that are generally considered cruel if done by a DA, which didn't get called out:
"I was triggered anxious.... conflict arose... I left the relationship with huge anxiety and anger." (He tried to stay no contact but contacted her after a month.)
"I was very AP, so I checked her phone... I left... she tried to contact me but I was blind to it... at least I tried...for a month."
"It was next year she dumped me twice."
Come on now.
Of course she wasn't receptive when he sat her down to explain her deactivating strategies and dysfunction to her. Of course she wasn't sure if she loved him.... She got slammed to the pavement twice because of his insecurity and anger.
Crickets.
Reams of text about all the ways in which she is dysfunctional as a presumed dismissive... and her (chosen!) therapy is not adequate and what her therapist wants to work with her on is "bullshit". No, he has it all figured out that she needs to change her beliefs and miss him. Let a DA do or say any of this here, and the insensitive comments would fly.
Another poster here, saying OP was dumped twice, he needs to have some self respect. Nevermind OP did it first, twice, and then jerked her around coming back, only to do it again.
She's sucking him dry? DA's are the least likely to get help or change... It all flies here, too often. And it makes no damn sense.
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Post by virusbkk on Sept 4, 2021 9:04:20 GMT
The thread is titled AP/DA... so OP is presumed Anxious and his partner is presumed Dismissive, and as I see it the double standard finds its foundation there. Things that OP (presumed anxious) have done that are generally considered cruel if done by a DA, which didn't get called out: "I was triggered anxious.... conflict arose... I left the relationship with huge anxiety and anger." (He tried to stay no contact but contacted her after a month.) "I was very AP, so I checked her phone... I left... she tried to contact me but I was blind to it... at least I tried...for a month." "It was next year she dumped me twice." Come on now. Of course she wasn't receptive when he sat her down to explain her deactivating strategies and dysfunction to her. Of course she wasn't sure if she loved him.... She got slammed to the pavement twice because of his insecurity and anger. Crickets. Reams of text about all the ways in which she is dysfunctional as a presumed dismissive... and her (chosen!) therapy is not adequate and what her therapist wants to work with her on is "bullshit". No, he has it all figured out that she needs to change her beliefs and miss him. Let a DA do or say any of this here, and the insensitive comments would fly. Another poster here, saying OP was dumped twice, he needs to have some self respect. Nevermind OP did it first, twice, and then jerked her around coming back, only to do it again. She's sucking him dry? DA's are the least likely to get help or change... It all flies here, too often. And it makes no damn sense. I honestly don't know what you have been smoking. Who dumped whom first is irrelevant. In fact, it just goes to reinforce what a cluster**** of a situation both of them have gotten themselves into. Relationships are not a tit-for-tit game, and if anything, the self-respect is equally bad on both sides. He dumped her twice, she came back and then she dumped him twice and he went back = toxic codependency. It is understandable that you are triggered or getting defensive being a DA yourself. But, it appears you are a self-aware DA, and that is good! The same can't be said for the rest of your ilk. |
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dexter
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Post by dexter on Sept 4, 2021 9:14:06 GMT
The thread is titled AP/DA... so OP is presumed Anxious and his partner is presumed Dismissive, and as I see it the double standard finds its foundation there. Things that OP (presumed anxious) have done that are generally considered cruel if done by a DA, which didn't get called out: "I was triggered anxious.... conflict arose... I left the relationship with huge anxiety and anger." (He tried to stay no contact but contacted her after a month.) "I was very AP, so I checked her phone... I left... she tried to contact me but I was blind to it... at least I tried...for a month." "It was next year she dumped me twice." Come on now. Of course she wasn't receptive when he sat her down to explain her deactivating strategies and dysfunction to her. Of course she wasn't sure if she loved him.... She got slammed to the pavement twice because of his insecurity and anger. Crickets. Reams of text about all the ways in which she is dysfunctional as a presumed dismissive... and her (chosen!) therapy is not adequate and what her therapist wants to work with her on is "bullshit". No, he has it all figured out that she needs to change her beliefs and miss him. Let a DA do or say any of this here, and the insensitive comments would fly. Another poster here, saying OP was dumped twice, he needs to have some self respect. Nevermind OP did it first, twice, and then jerked her around coming back, only to do it again. She's sucking him dry? DA's are the least likely to get help or change... It all flies here, too often. And it makes no damn sense.
I dumped her for the first time, yes. But in fact who dumped whom? She completely deactivated for last month of this first phase. Couldn't speak about what is going on, just "dunno, my feelings for everything in my life just shut down". Last act was hearing that she has feelings towards her ex. I've tried to repair, tried to communicate, but there was only huge walls and "I don't know what happened". She build that walls around our conflict about her phantom ex. Had no choice and it wasn;t in fact my choice.
I will adress to other valuable (and bit uncomfortable for me) posts, but I need to calm down after what happened today morning. 10 days of no contact was a joke. Yesterday she called me in the morning. Her kid has illness, was vomiting, had fever, was very weak. She's a family doctor, so if she was calm, I was as well. But kid wanted to see me, so I threw everything (not a problem at friday) and came. Everything was OK, we've spent whole day taking care, reading books, playing, supporting kid. At evening we put him to sleep, I ate three sandwiches and went back home. Today morning she called me, with anger in her voice that I ate all bread left and she can't do a breakfast for a kid. OK, no problem, I can bring fresh bread within 15 min, so I did. She was cold, unavailable, no eye contact. I took care of kid, made him breakfast, because my ex was preparing to work. She was like a tornado, I felt she's anxious, even was rude towards her kid. I've asked her "is it me or is it you?". Well...it was her. She accused me of being selfish, not thinking about others, "that is exactly how you always act, I can't stand it". She switched from calm, warm girl to a freezing winterstorm in one night, due to three pieces of bread. I've seen that so many times in our relationships. And I was unaware of avoidant mechanism, but many times told har that I feel like walking on eggshells. She is inconsistent, can feel so tolarate towards my behaviours, but sometimes...you know.
I went home, didn't even tried to discuss, there was no possibility of reaching her and solving, discussing. Now, after an hour I think how secure person would act if I ate bread, but next day morning showed after 15 min with fresh one. Or how would I act? Would cook an omellette, would say "nothing happened really, great you've bring fresh one, you ate breakfast?".
That what happened brings one of the worst feeling I experienced relationship. Feeling of disorientation, confuse, being dumped emotionally out of the blue. Now mixed with feeling that she's so unflexible and, well, not willing to switch from conflict-oriented communication to empathy and compassion, just what I try to do. Trying to think about HER feeelings not mine, which I find helpful to turn my att autopilot off.
Part of me is pissed and angry towards her, first time since a month or so. Are these my boundaries knocking on my door? I was always bad on boundaries in that relationship. Both mine and her.
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dexter
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Post by dexter on Sept 4, 2021 9:59:25 GMT
“10 days of no contact will help me to ease down my anxiety and look at our situation from more sober perspective. I need to concentrate on my job, daily activities, hobby and friends.” One should be able to be in a relationship and also be able to focus on these things. I agree. I proposed that a month ago. She didn't respond directly. Not saying yes, not saying no. So in fact we stay in relationship, but without intimacy and commitment.“ I need safe distance for my own health.” I would say absolutely if she showed clear signs of abuse towards you. But I believe a lot of is your projection. Is todays morning "bread crisis" (lol) a sign of abuse? Are deactivation strategies not abusive? She presented full spectrum of them. “And it will help her I think.” It’s controlling of you to assume this. You need to ask her. I bet the answer is very different. Ask her. “She reads a lot about attachment theory, she is confused, maybe bit scared. She needs space, need to proceed slowly, I think.” Did she say she needed space? “I know her a bit. She needs time.” It’s you, who needs time. You’re projecting again. Ask her if she needs time. Many times she told me during crisis or "deactivating" that she needs space and time to react. To get in touch, to regulate. She teach me that.“Yes, that boy is not my stepson. But question is...what makes a bond between step-father and kid? Marriage or genuine care since he was two yrs old?” Again you say what makes a bond between a step father and a kid. Obviously time spent and shared and care and love shown. But he is not your stepson. It’s borderline cruel to keep developing this attachment without a commitment, it’s cruel to her and to him. Fact is that is a terrible situation. We are two immature people that had no responsibility, thus she is a great mother, and I am recognised (by her, my friends, family) as a good "step-father". I do not put away blame from me, but it was she that formed dynamics of my relationship with her kid. She let me be a "father". She put tons of trust in how I care about him and how we both spent time. Bond has developed. It happened. It is a huge concern for me, but that how things are. And it is breaking my heart. |
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dexter
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Post by dexter on Sept 4, 2021 10:08:32 GMT
Ah, yes, this is a tricky one, lots of projection and gaslighting (OP is gaslighting himself), so it’s hard to make out. But we’ve had worse here 😅 Typical hyper focus on the partner's dysfunction as described by a projecting, gaslighting insecure person, though. Complete with a list of "deactivating strategies", or course and absent a list of "My own stuff that's totally dysfunctional that I need to change BEFORE trying to teach and enlighten my sick sick partner". But plenty of "I think I will try some no contact to try to turn this in ny favor. Its worked before and maybe this time I'm closer to convincing her how unhealthy she is. " 😂
I disagree. I thought that my own issue list can be read between words or even I mentioned it directly. So, here it is: - I am focusing on my own pain which results having a problem with empathy (think that is her issue as well) - I seek reassurance and validation from my partner (not seeking it outside, which probably is unhealthy and affects my self-esteem) - I take criticism very directly, which results in feeling unaccepted -> frustrated -> acts unhealthy during conflicts - I have a need to control her, fix her, monopoly on truth about our relationship - not regulating my mood myself, instead letting my mood to be regulated by her, her availability and feelings towards me - I do generate pressure on reassurance/spending time together/quality time/intimacy , even in manipulative way
- I am axiety-driven during communication, which leads to unresolved conflicts - problem with my own boundaries, hardly understand role of boundaries in relationship (but in my first relationship I have a feeling that I didn't need boundaries, or they were so natural that I even didn't realise); need to explore that matter
And my "month break" proposal was verbalized. I told her about this and what I want to achieve. I understand that as a "system reset" to try to upload new software. That was also her therapists suggestion. So no, no manipulation here. I realise that I could be manipulative, switch to (play a role) of an avoidant, come back, had great honeymoon, sex, love...and then BANG. Again in the same pattern. No, I might be immature, insecure, but things went too far. I really want her and me working on more secure side. I am 41. Have a chance to have my family life, maybe with someone secure. Maybe not.
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dexter
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Post by dexter on Sept 4, 2021 12:01:41 GMT
what I see is absurdity, even cruelty in the selfishness of OP's posts. Repeatedly going no contact, recognizing it causes fear in her, but it makes her so happy to reconnect... and then claiming he needs to do it again for himself, and for her.
I need to adress that, because I so strongly disagree. Maybe that is you who is projecting?
I am not going repeatedly no contact. I was a victim of stonewalling, ghosting, shut of communication without words of explanation many times during conflicts that eventually led to separation.
I've dumped her twice, yes. First time because she had feelings towards phantom ex, and stonewalled me. Second time I left her, because I watched her deactivating slowly, shutting intimacy, shutting communication, i get frustrated, pressed....and just gave up, because I knew what's gonna happen. When I announced our brake up, I saw her fears come up. But I knew that it doesn't mean anythink, she is just fearful of being alone, without me. And I knew that there is no future. Maybe my mistake was to stay in touch with her kid, plus she was sometimes asking me for help, or just have small talks on the phone. I love her, I am AP as far as I (and my therapist) know, so it was really hard for me to resist. Two months ago it was her, and her therapist idea to take a month of no contact to make things clear, work on ourselves and ease down emotions.
So please take that into consideration and try to look at things from different perspective.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 4, 2021 14:12:29 GMT
dexter, so let me get this straight. You write that you see she is afraid of being alone, without you. Her therapist thinks she is afraid of being alone with a kid. You describe a chaotic scene where she is stressed about dealing with a sick kid and no bread for breakfast (bread is what I would feed a kid who has been vomiting- not an omelette or milk or anything else, mild food, bread is very typical). Clearly she is overwhelmed. As a professional in a high stress job as a doctor, without a partner at home to help raise the child, I understand this. Yes she is a competent woman but raising a child alone can be very overwhelming, physically and emotionally. There is a lot involved in that, and not having time for disruption to routine is part of that. Feeling anger at running out of bread with a sick kid is part of that whether you understand it or not. Things going wrong when a person is overwhelmed and working and parenting is a real thing. So yes, she needs support to cope. And yet, if her therapist wants to work with her to increase independence you think it's "bullshit." If she cannot touch you after conflict, don't you agree that you are not the one for her? Her therapist is right on point but you think you know better. Do you really know better, after all you have written here? You don't. Humble yourself and stop elevating yourself over her therapist. She's a trained professional. And from the sound of it she's given great advice, for the client she is seeing. The best scenario in my opinion would be complete independence with a severing of this toxic relationship, and I don't know their conversations but hopefully they are working on it. I will refrain from further commenting on your post, good luck.
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dexter
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Post by dexter on Sept 4, 2021 14:31:05 GMT
Ok, I respect that. But please acknowledge that I was always supporting her on raising child, taking my responsibility, supporting her physically and emotionally. Been always ready to throw away everything and support her in any way she needs to. Not only because I love her, but because I genuinely love her child.
I feel that there is something underneath that bread crisis and it is not the first time. In fact that is the reality of my relationship.
Take care.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 4, 2021 14:58:44 GMT
Ok, I respect that. But please acknowledge that I was always supporting her on raising child, taking my responsibility, supporting her physically and emotionally. Been always ready to throw away everything and support her in any way she needs to. Not only because I love her, but because I genuinely love her child. I feel that there is something underneath that bread crisis and it is not the first time. In fact that is the reality of my relationship. Take care. She told you though. She thinks you are selfish and have a pattern of not thinking of others. That's what she articulated to you. If you got upset when she didn't allow you around the father/child visits, she probably felt that then. And I agree, with the boundary she set around that. In fact, all the courts where I live do not support a new partner present during parent/child visits. That time is for the parent and the child. She didn't fully see the dynamic there but her boundary was reasonable. As her child is a primary concern, I could see where she saw you as selfish there. Going through her phone to ease your anxiety is selfish also- you were more concerned about your anxiety than her privacy. Do you have a pattern of behaving in selfish ways because of your anxiety, disregarding the feelings of others? She doesn't have it figured out, how to be a good partner. Neither do you. But I wouldn't invalidate what she is saying here because she likely really feels that way, based on what you have shared here. It may be painful and it may not be how you see yourself, but from the sounds of it that is how she sees you. She's also said something about you seeming immature and childish in your demands, I don't remember how you put that. If a woman does not respect a man she will behave this way. So as you already know, there is a lack of respect. The dynamic has eroded anything worthy between you two it seems. She may have need and attachment going on but without trust and respect it's not going to work. Alright. I really don't intend to needle you and I'll go- I just was a little surprised at your confusion on what could be behind that incident. It seemed to me like it was a last straw type of incident (possibly on repeat) but a tension that has long existed. |
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Post by krolle on Sept 4, 2021 16:36:36 GMT
As much as you both know I am a big fan of you ladies, and I do agree with most of what you said. I feel a pang of discomfort that the way you are talking about it is a little insensitive. I sense dysfunction, but no genuine malice in the OP. Perhaps it's just the people pleaser in me feeling uncomfortable. And I need to check myself. So take my opinion with a pinch of salt. I'm just sharing my feelings with you. Well, you're certainly very selective about who you call out for being insensitive, by the looks of this thread. Actually, upon the reading of many threads here. Do you fail to confront insensitivity in posters you are less familiar with, in avoidance of conflict? What I mean is you do seem to have a lot of people pleasing in your posts. You may sense insensitivity, but what I see is absurdity, even cruelty in the selfishness of OP's posts. Repeatedly going no contact, recognizing it causes fear in her, but it makes her so happy to reconnect... and then claiming he needs to do it again for himself, and for her. That doesn't mean I can't empathize with him- we are all insecure here and I literally have anguished but also eventually laughed till I cried (at myself) with my girlfriends, about the absurdity of my thinking and choices when unaware. It's sobering and it ought to be. It may sound harsh to point it out the way it has been here... but we are calling out some pretty harmful treatment. Additionally, it's very frequent that an anxious poster gets a ton of empathy, as they post with little empathy about their avoidant partner. He's gone so far as to insinuate a sense of superiority in her. His post bleeds superiority. So- it may be that some are offended or feel pangs like you do. Believe this: as a DA on this forum that's a constant for me. DA's get thrashed continuously, and I haven't seen you particularly or vocally offended by that. It's like a different standard. What I see, generally, and. not necessarily from you but as a general tone on the forum... is anyone who is anxious as AP or FA is deserving of more sensitivity than a DA-because we don't live as anxious insecure. It's the "us (anxious) against them (dismissive)" culture. You haven't said anything to OP here about his insensitivity in how he is treating this woman. If you did I missed it and I'll go back and try to find it. I find his writing/actions to be very insensitive. I definitely feel pangs. Anyway, we all have feelings and can agree to disagree. I am actually very ok with that. It's not possible to find complete agreement all the time, for sure. You are correct introvert. I do count people pleasing and aversion to conflict amongst the weaknesses I am trying to work on. And your observation of my selectivity is also accurate. But on this occasion I think you misinterpret my motivation for being VERY selective on who I call out for being insensitive. I dont fail to confront them, I choose not to. I only engage regularly with certain members on this forum because I respect them, even if their opinion differs. I am well aware there are posters who are wildly more inconsiderate than you. But I rarely interact with them because I recognize the futility of that. I might try once or twice, but beyond that they barely exist to me. I have said this before, but remember I have a long history of engaging in futile tit for tat debates in my real life relationships. To the point where I'm just sort of 'over it'. I view giving YOU personally my honest opinion because I value your input enough to be honest. And believe you have enough insight that if I say something to you, even if it's not pleasant, it might still get somewhere productive. If I didn't respect your opinion, I just wouldn't care to interact. In addition,I completely agree with you that Avoidants are demonized and anxious types are given a lot of leeway. I believe I have concurred with you on this before. But unfortunately that is the nature of the beast. Anxious types (before awareness) are prone to making others responsible for their feelings and so engage in blame a lot. They are also prone to huddle together in slander campaigns because of the way they rely on others. Whereas avoidants are likely to be more solitary and well... avoid things of course. It will always be a case of avoidant types feeling under siege and outnumbered by anxious types in the self help domain, especially in the presence of anxious prone to hostility as a coping mechanism, which is common enough. I'm not saying I like it. Just that that's the way it is. Im also a pragmatist at heart. It defines my actions as much as my attachment style. As soon as a thread decends into an 'us vs them' battle I'm usually not very vocal as you pointed out. Not because if fear of conflict. But an aversion to futility. I also wanted to point out I haven't disagreed with anything that has been said about the OP and his situation yet (I'm still processing). It might be the case my perspective agrees precisely with your after all. But only that I sense a defensiveness in a lot of the posts on this thread which have seemed insensitive to me. of course I understand the sentiment. It's just my opinion. |
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Post by krolle on Sept 4, 2021 16:48:18 GMT
I'm also suddenly aware of how the need to defend myself is a powerful motivator to post lol.
wow...what a hippocrit I can be sometimes. 😐
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dexter
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Post by dexter on Sept 4, 2021 16:52:22 GMT
She told you though. She thinks you are selfish and have a pattern of not thinking of others. That's what she articulated to you. If you got upset when she didn't allow you around the father/child visits, she probably felt that then. And I agree, with the boundary she set around that. In fact, all the courts where I live do not support a new partner present during parent/child visits. That time is for the parent and the child. She didn't fully see the dynamic there but her boundary was reasonable. As her child is a primary concern, I could see where she saw you as selfish there. Going through her phone to ease your anxiety is selfish also- you were more concerned about your anxiety than her privacy. Do you have a pattern of behaving in selfish ways because of your anxiety, disregarding the feelings of others? She doesn't have it figured out, how to be a good partner. Neither do you. But I wouldn't invalidate what she is saying here because she likely really feels that way, based on what you have shared here. It may be painful and it may not be how you see yourself, but from the sounds of it that is how she sees you. She's also said something about you seeming immature and childish in your demands, I don't remember how you put that. If a woman does not respect a man she will behave this way. So as you already know, there is a lack of respect. The dynamic has eroded anything worthy between you two it seems. She may have need and attachment going on but without trust and respect it's not going to work. Alright. I really don't intend to needle you and I'll go- I just was a little surprised at your confusion on what could be behind that incident. It seemed to me like it was a last straw type of incident (possibly on repeat) but a tension that has long existed.
First of all, I do not seek validation here. I seek for a feedback, even if it hurts me. That's ok and I find it valuable.
My selfishness is a concern to her, because she says that I do not consider her needs - especially need for space and indepencency. And I was forced to learn that needs during her stonewalling and shutdowns. She is very hard on communicating her needs and boundaries. Does that only when conflicts reach its climax. I find it really hard and stressful. She said many times that I think only about myself, demanding need for closeness, reasurrance, intimacy, space just for us. Or just an attention, instead of her plainly ignoring me (she admits that she does it frequently). So yes, I assume it comes from AP/avoidant dynamics, because I have firm self regarding how do I act with other people.
But even if she's right, she showed readiness for working on our relationship, discussing our dysfunctions. Trying. I saw that. I still see the "bread conflict" as overreacting. Even if I am truly selfish, let's put that aside and try to ease down things, look at wider perspective.
6 hrs ago I've sent her text, very polite, asking what happened, is there anything under surface. I show that we could try to get over it. Looking for a feedback. Data. No answer. Isn't it stonewalling? Been there, seen that.
Sad for me. Not even anxious. Just sad how easy that go.
It's good when I am changing and show some signs of security, not anxiety. Compassion and empathy. I have an impression that it is one sided. I am the only one that need to change.
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dexter
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Post by dexter on Sept 4, 2021 16:55:22 GMT
I'm also suddenly aware of how the need to defend myself is a powerful motivator to post lol. wow...what a hippocrit I can be sometimes. 😐
I got the same trap, that is human thing. And all non-secures struggles with low self-esteem, conscious or not.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 4, 2021 16:56:37 GMT
I feel you krolle, and appreciate all you said. Basically the place I'm coming from is exactly that- an exasperation with what you've described perfectly. Anyway, it all goes- I've got a place I can say what's on my mind too, it just won't be popular but that's been quite clear from Day 1. I've shared a link on another thread about the flaws of AP that others find maddening- it's maddening. I'll be the one to say it, anyone can block me. But it does get old seeing it over an over. I still find this forum worthy in some regards. I don't have to be Mother Theresa, never claimed to be. Just calling out some stuff I take issue with. As we were; it's all good between us as far as I am concerned Krolle. Hope the same on your end.  |
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